Do you feel an Abuser can Truly be a Christian?

Let’s be real here, we have Christians that are abusers within our churches and within our communities. This is nothing new, yet it seems that it’s yet another topic that so many don’t want to talk about. We have abusive Fathers, Mothers, Husbands, and Wives wearing the “Mask of Christianity”. We have ministers that are abusing and even killing their wives. We have Pastors who abuse their wives and children; we have Priests that molest young boys…

This isn’t anything new! This is a societal issue; we have abusers in all facets of society! There are abusers who are doctors, lawyers, political officials, police officers, judges, clerks, waiters, waitresses, trash truck drivers…so why is it such a surprise we have them as Christians as well? 1 in 4 (this is what the common statistic states as of today, although I truly believe it’s more like 1 in 3) women are affected by abuse, and this doesn’t even touch the men that are abused (1 in 7) as well! How many people sit in your church every Sunday? How many do you see shopping at Walmart, in the mall, or on the roads daily? How many are abuse victims? More importantly, how many are abusers?

Colossians 3:19

19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Let’s face it, having abusive Christians just makes those of us that are trying to lead Christian lives look bad. How can we state we are Christians attempting to lead a clean life when we have abusers hiding in our closets? How can we as Christians or as humans even, stand by and let abusiveness continue knowingly? How can we continue to let Abusers hide behind the name of Christ? How can we not reach out to those that are beaten down by their abusive mate?

Proverbs 22: 24-25

24 Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, 25 or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.

Abusers are well known as master manipulators and wear many masks so that they can continue to do what they want to do. Wearing a mask of a Christian isn’t a huge step for them; it makes them look good on the outside doesn’t it? This we all know…the question I’m posing now is: Can Abusers Truly be Christians?

First, let’s look at what a Christian is supposed to be. A Christian is supposed to be someone that attempts to follow the life and footsteps of Christ. A Christian is supposed to be someone that follows the teaching of the Bible set forth by God. A Christian is supposed to love and treat their neighbor (this means wives and children as well) as they themselves would like to be treated and loved. A Christian is supposed to be someone that loves everyone no matter what their faults, and treats everyone as Jesus would treat them.

1 Peter 3:7-12

7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. 8 Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. 9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10 For, ‘Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. 11 They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it. 12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.’

In reading through that, I don’t see one line an abuser can claim! Abusers don’t follow within the footsteps of Jesus Christ, they don’t even come close! Abusers do not follow the teaching of the Bible if they are manipulating, controlling, mentally or physically harming another human being. Abusers don’t love or treat others as they would like to be treated or loved. In my mind, Abusers cannot be Christians!

Psalm 11:4-7

4 The Lord is in his holy temple; the Lord is on his heavenly throne. He observes everyone on earth; his eyes examine them. 5 The Lord examines the righteous, but the wicked, those who love violence, he hates with a passion. 6 On the wicked he will rain fiery coals and burning sulfur; a scorching wind will be their lot. 7 For the Lord is righteous, he loves justice; the upright will see his face.

Ok, so they can claim that they are a Christian, but just because I claim to be a nuclear physicist doesn’t make it so! I don’t have the qualifications, and neither do they have the qualifications to call themselves Christians! Just because someone sits on the seats of a church every Sunday; says the right words at the right times; and makes the right movements at the right times; gives over 10% in tithing every week; doesn’t make them a Christian!

Abusers claim to be many things, they wear many masks, and unfortunately being a Christian is one of them. Too many women and children are being hurt by “Christian” abusers, and too many are turning away from God and Christianity because of it! Too many families are falling apart to “Christian” abusers, and too many women and children are paying the price because of it. Too many “Christian” abusers are posing themselves, and believe me, others are looking on and watching, and too many Christians are standing by and letting it happen.

Psalm 34:12-22

12 Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, 13 keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies. 14 Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. 15 The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are attentive to their cry; 16 but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil, to blot out their name from the earth. 17 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. 18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. 19 The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; 20 He protects all His bones, not one of them will be broken. 21 Evil will slay the wicked; the foes of the righteous will be condemned. 22 The Lord will rescue his servants; no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.

So the question stands: Do you feel an Abuser can Truly be a Christian? So many Survivors struggle with this same question, and I’d like to get the feelings and responses from others on this topic. Too many Survivors are damaged because of “Christian” Abusers, too many feel alone and don’t understand how a Christian can abuse them, mostly if they are a Christian themselves and following the teachings of God. Too many women turn away from God and from the church because of their “Christian” Abusive spouse, and often because of the way the church and other fellow Christians handle the situation when the victim approaches them with it. Please, respond with your feelings and information on this blog so that we can in the future refer those Survivors that are dealing with just this issue (believe me, there are a lot of them) to this wealth of information and healthy discussion. Together, we can make a lasting change in their lives…

May God Bless You and Keep You Safe!

~Angel Hugz~

~Tracy~