February 29, 2012

Chronic

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Fostering Hope

9 The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.

Psalm 9:9

CHRONIC

In medicine, some health conditions never go away. They irritate and nag and keep you from functioning at full strength. They suck the energy out of you. Some life conditions do that too. She was 17, and counting the days until her birthday when she could be 'out on her own'. She was going to move in with a friend, she told me, and try to get a job, although she had only completed the 9th grade so far, and thought that being employed at a fast food restaurant was her best option. She answered my questions in a somewhat robotic, monotonous voice, and she seemed almost able to predict what the question was before I had asked it. Until I asked about her family. Then the robot vanished. Her voice shook, and her eyes filled with pain. Lots of it. First in foster care at age 2. Back and forth between the system and home until she was school-age. Parent's rights terminated. In several foster homes. Then adopted. Until it got hard. Then back into foster care. Now, almost on her own. But with no hope, no future, no life. Just pain. Chronic, long-standing pain. An aspirin won't fix that. Only one thing will - love. Massive, overwhelming, unconditional love. And she hasn't found that yet.

OMG how I know about chronic illness, and how much it just drains you!  I never saw a connection to that and how our life conditions can do the same, but thinking back, I can see it plainly…

I’ve met many woman that have not only gone through Domestic Violence but through child abuse as well, and the on going abuse throughout their life has just drained them so bad!  Not knowing anymore who to trust, or if to trust anyone anymore.  Not knowing if they can be loved for who they were, many times not knowing anymore themselves who they are anymore.  It not only just drains the life out of you, but drains who you are!

There is no quick fix for that.  There is no magic pill any doctor can prescribe that will make it go away.  Healing can happen though, again nothing quick, a lot of work involved and a lot of baby steps, but it can be done!  Finding a support system while healing is so crucial.  People around you that will be there through the good times and the bad.  Friends that will support you even in your lowest days.  Sometimes this is hard to find, and when all else fails, just remember that you can reach towards God for that unconditional love that you may not be able to find.   

February 17, 2012

When the going gets tough…

The tough need to turn to God

With the economy it’s only getting tougher out there.  Domestic Violence, Child Abuse, Rape, Violence, break ins, crime is on the rise.  So many are having it tough to just get through the week, much less be able to plan for the future at this point.  A future that can’t be set in stone for we don’t know what may close or downsize next.  The future is unpredictable, but one thing we can all count on is that God is there for everyone that turns to Him.

I’m not just saying this as a quick fix, I can look back at times of troubles that I’ve gone through both by myself, then as a single mother, then as a family, and it’s harder to go through these problems without Him by your side.  Being able to talk to Him, to share or give over your burdens, fears and stress; to lift these all up to Him to carry is such a peaceful blessing! 

I can think back to crying alone at night, with no one to turn too, no one to listen, no one that I felt would understand what I was going through.  Being alone, totally alone like that is one of the hardest things I had to go through.  Being able to turn to Him at any time and know that He is there for me, to know that He’ll give me the strength to overcome whatever I’m going through is such a blessing! 

It’s hard to hand it all to Him, to stop worrying, to stop stressing, to not look at the bills piling up and wondering how they are going to be paid, to look at your children and not worry and stress how you’re going to feed them.  These are all concerns that are very important, and lifting these all up to Him to bare may seem alien to so many.  To be able to give up these concerns and not try to control them but giving it to His control is so hard to do, but it can be done!  The result is such peace even during the storms that you are going to make it through, even when your mind is telling you it’s impossible, everything is possible with God on your side!

If you are going through tough times, know that you aren’t alone!  Not only are so many others going through tough times as well, but God is there for you.  Turn to Him, speak to Him, pray to Him, lift up your troubles to Him!  It’ll take a lot of faith and even practice to finally give it all over to Him without wanting to grab at least bits and pieces back for yourself to stress over, just know that it takes time to give over to Him full control of it all, but I can promise you the end result is so worth all the effort!

February 14, 2012

REDEMPTION

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Fostering Hope

9 But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light:10 Which in time past were not a people, but are now the people of God: which had not obtained mercy, but now have obtained mercy.

1 Peter 2:9-10

REDEMPTION

Through the thin walls, she could hear the screaming of her step-dad. Cursing. Crashing. Drunken rage being taken out yet again on her family. She wished she could disappear. Wanted to die. That seemed so much more peaceful a place. But not an option - not to her. Her eyes swept across the tiny bedroom, searching for something to relieve the pain. She reached for a nearby wooden pencil. Its eraser was long gone, and the bent metal end provided an avenue for the escape she was so desperate to find. The aluminum cut into her skin, etching the first letters of a message - HATE - onto her side. Tears from the pain of the cut mixed with tears from the pain in her heart and rolled down her cheeks. Then, her soul quieted, as her heavenly Papa gathered her into his arms and held her close. His voice, His truth flooded her mind, and spilled out onto the worn notebook lying beside her bed. 'I know you, I love you. I liberate you, I light your path. I provide you with friends and a way out when you are stuck. I'm your healer and your guide. You are valuable, you have a future. You are my precious daughter' The pencil, a tool Satan meant for evil, God used for good. The same pencil that started off destructive, making temporary imprints in her flesh, God used to carve a permanent note of redemption on her heart.

And yet, so many still state that children are not affected by Domestic Violence, oh how wrong they are.  How can a child that sees and hears the violence not be affected by it?  Just because them themselves don’t carry the physical bruising that the world can see?  Yet, they do carry the scars and bruises deep on the inside that are hidden, and that many of us know and understand can at times be harder to heal then the physical bruising.

I was a cutter as a teen, I can understand cutting and why someone would turn to it.  It’s a release, it’s a visual that you are indeed hurt and bleeding and that the hurt you are feeling is warranted (ever heard the saying “You’re ok, you’re not bleeding”?).  So many try to make cutting into such a worse light, for so many cutters it’s them trying to make sense out of the emotions and hurt they are feeling, it’s their expressing that hurt in a way that isn’t healthy.  Thankfully I stopped cutting long ago, but I know adults that still do it, and I pray that they and others that cut find peace and another outlet for their pain and head towards healing.  Like any addiction, cutting can be hard to stop, but it can be done!  Turn towards God for strength and healing, turn towards those that lift you up and don’t put you down, turn towards a healthy, happy life and those cuts will heal…

February 13, 2012

YOU CAN FLY

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Fostering Hope

58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.

1 Corinthians 15:58

YOU CAN FLY
I love to fly. I always choose a window seat right over the wing, near the jets so I can best hear the roar of the engines and watch the wing shape change as we take off and land. But I always find myself doubting that it will even work, that the plane can even get off the ground. There is too much weight. People. Baggage. And it starts too slowly - those first few feet of movement are painfully slow. But the thing about a plane is, it was made to fly. It was shaped in a specific way, and it was equipped with engines that are capable of producing tremendous thrust, if they are fueled properly. Once it gets in the air, it seems like it could stay there forever with very little effort. Foster kids come weighed down too. With lots of baggage. I was molested, so now I don't trust men. Or I use my body to get what I want. I was physically abused, and now I believe I am to blame for whatever I get, so I move from abusive relationship to abusive relationship. My emotional needs weren't met, so now I suck the life out of others, desperately trying to fill up my own soul.

It is easy to believe that a kid carrying that kind of weight won't be able to get off the ground. But the truth is, they, like all humans, were made to fly. Born for it. But they need fuel. They need us to provide the thing that powers them. Encouragement. Expectation. Opportunity. Love. Hope. Without it, they are grounded. With it, if they can get off the ground, they might just fly forever. Are you willing to fuel someone's hopes and dreams? Willing to mentor? To tutor? To help a kid dream then help them achieve that dream? Are you willing to help someone fly?

I LOVE this reading plan! 

I love how the writer put this, and even though this is dealing with children, the same thing can be said for the adult survivors of all types of abuse.  Our wings get clipped and we don’t know that we can even fly much less remember how after going through hell.  We all need help to find our feet again and to become steady once again, to find ourselves and learn who we are once again before we can even think about learning how to spread our wings and fly.  It takes time, but healing is possible, flying is possible! 

I shared this even though this is more of a message to Advocates and those healed enough to help others, because it also puts to mind that advocates are needed!  It’s so hard to get through healing from abuse alone, quite frankly it sucks having too, and I truly feel that Survivors really need to reach out and help those that are going through what they went through now.  Those of us that have been through the abuse know and understand the full picture and can be of such a help to those that are out there now struggling through it!  So, if you are a healed Survivor, and you are willing and able to reach out to your brother and sister survivors, please do so!  If you don’t know how, contact us!  We’ll help steer you in the right direction.

For the Survivors out there still struggling through your personal hell, know that there IS hope and that you CAN heal and that you are NOT alone!  So many have gone through the abuse and have healed, you can too!  Hang in there, reach out, and know that someday you will heal and you will Fly again!

February 11, 2012

Healing Touch

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Fostering Hope

33 But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him,34 And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.

Luke 10:33-34

HEALING TOUCH
People go the doctor to be healed. To get relief from their pain. But I don't always know how to heal. Don't always know what to say or what to do. She was 14, with thick auburn hair that fell in unruly layers around her face. She was beautiful, but rough. Even in her short years she had experienced her share of hardship, and it showed, in the stiffness of her posture and the edge in her voice. I found out that she was in 8th grade, and liked math but didn't want anyone to think she was a nerd. She had a brother but didn't get to see him much. She was not a stranger to foster care - had slept in other people's homes off and on for as long as she could remember. Said she'd learned how to fold towels 'correctly' 10 different ways.

As she talked, she waved her arms and I saw them. Words carved across her knuckles. Others over the back of her hands and up her forearms. HATE. WORTHLESS. CRAZY. Scabbed. Fresh. Evidence of pain that extended much deeper than the wounds that marked her skin. She seemed surprised when I touched her arms, gently massaging antibiotic ointment into each line, grieving with each stroke. How do I fix that kind of pain? How do I speak life to someone who has only known death? I don't always know how to heal. But I do know how to touch, how to provide the most basic of human contact. So do you. Are you willing?

I know I had some trouble figuring out how to blog onto this blog, I don’t know bible passages by heart, I don’t feel that I speak like I guess I thought someone should that is doing this, and then I realized…God gave me the gifts He did for a reason and all I had to do was share myself here…what a revelation!  So often we don’t know how to help, don’t know how to help someone heal, just don’t know what to do.  Sometimes it’s that smallest action though that truly can make a difference!  So often it’s not in the saying but in the doing and the actions that come out of it.

I used to cut, I know how deep pain can go, I know how it is to put a mask on so that the outside world would think you’re just fine while you are dying inside.  Reach out to your friends, to your Pastor, your teacher, your whoever!  Even if you can’t tell them you are hurting or in pain, spend time with them, the likely hood is they already know but don’t know how to help…

February 9, 2012

THE OVERCOMER

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Fostering Hope

2 He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.

Psalm 40:2

The lady looked older than me, but it turned out she was a couple years younger. She had 6 kids - the first was born when she was only a kid herself. They had been in foster care for several years. But were now back with her, and soon DHS would sign off on her as a mom. At that point in the conversation, perhaps a normal person with manners and social grace would have just stopped - congratulated her and bowed out of the conversation. But I couldn't help myself. I was compelled to know the whole story - to know HER. She had been on drugs - first painkillers, then marijuana, then meth. The guys she hung out with were mean, but they supplied her drug habit.

Eventually it caught up with her, and the kids were picked up. She was devastated, but she was also addicted. For two more years she was unsuccessful in her struggle against it. Then she began to break free. She went through rehab - ALL the way through. Then a half-way house. Then outpatient counseling. Then she found a job. Then she got an apartment. Then she got her kids back. What? How did that happen? These stories don't usually have a happy ending. What was the key? My parents believed in me. My friend believed in me. My counselor believed in me. My new boss believed in me. 'You are an overcomer!' I said. Her eyes met mine, and she smiled.

When we begin to see people for who they were created to be, instead of who they are on the surface, it is easier to believe in them. And when WE believe in them, it is easier for them to begin to believe in themselves. I want to believe in people. In their potential. In the possibilities of their lives. In the awareness that a bad decision is not the same thing as a bad person. In the knowledge that we all make mistakes and none of us is perfect. In the hope that the future can be different than the past.

 

How often have we been told that we can’t do things, only for that to be proven true?  Looking back I know that many of the things I wanted to do I stopped doing because I was told I can’t, it’s impossible, that wouldn’t work.  How often has this stopped you from doing what you dream of doing?  Have you continued to let it stop you?

Believe in yourself when no one else does, believe that you can achieve the impossible, believe that you can get to where you want to go and overcome the obstacles along the way.  Believe in yourself when no one else is around, and along the way you’ll meet up with others that will believe in you as well.  Turn a deaf ear to those that put you down, that don’t believe in you, what they say doesn’t matter, show them that you are an overcomer and that you will obtain your dreams!

February 8, 2012

In Troubled Times…

From YouVersion Reading Plan: 60 to Start

24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.25 Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?26 Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?27 Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?28 And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:29 And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

This is from a reading plan I started just a few days ago, and while reading this portion of the plan I was lead to share with you…

Like so many others my family is going through a time of rough waters…a loss of a job has lead it to be very tight here, and there have been times we have been tempted to worry as bills pile up, rent goes unpaid, and we didn’t have a vehicle to even start fixing the issues of man. 

It’s times like these that we are so tempted to worry, to cry out, to stress and become short tempered with one another, yet we know we’ve gone through worse and God got us through those times, so do we trust that He will see us through this as well.  God knows what we need, and many times we may not have what we want, but He does provide what is needed.  I know at the time it doesn’t seem like it, but looking back I know that during many of the times of turmoil we gained something so much more then the money we needed to pay our bills or get something we needed.  It is well known and viewed that in times of trouble many of us lean closer to Him, because when the times are good so many feel that they have less need of Him, which is so untrue!  But such is the way of man…

Going through the rough times are hard, I can’t say it isn’t, but knowing that no matter what happens if we can put our trust in Him, share with him our burdens and lean on Him, we will be lead out of those times into more gentle waters.  I know we get impatient, we of course want out now, but I also know that during the times of troubles things can be revealed to us that we may not have looked for in times of joy. 

So if you’re going through times of trouble at the time you are reading this, know that He is there with you, that He knows your needs and trust in Him to open the needed doors for you to get you through.  Give Him time, for He works in His time not ours, and so often if we just trust in Him and let Him lead us instead of us plowing ahead, greater things will happen then what we ever could have done ourselves.

February 7, 2012

Refreshment in the Desert

I know that when are going through abuse, we are always running out of strength, we are always drawing from ourselves and wearing out fast.  Reading this just made sense to me in many ways and I wanted to share this with you…

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Lifetime Daily Devotions

Refreshment in the Desert

How blessed is the man whose strength is in Thee,
In whose heart are the highways to Zion!
Passing through the valley of Baca, they make it a spring;
The early rain also covers it with blessings.
They go from strength to strength.

Psalm 84:5-7

How blessed is the man whose strength is in You . . .
Do I seek blessings? Of course.
Am I always sure of the route to take to receive a blessing? No.
Well, here is a route that is guaranteed.
The man who has come to know that You are his strength is a man
who is blessed.

If I have come to know that You are my strength, then in all probability I've been drawing strength from some other source--myself, no doubt--and this "other" strength has disappointed me. It hasn't worked. It hasn't been effective. Perhaps I've tried many avenues seeking to rejuvenate that strength, and, after humiliating failures, frustration, emotional pain, and step-by-sometimes-painful step, I have come to the conclusion that I don't have the strength.

For me this has been a process whereby I have come to know something that I didn't know before. I have arrived at a point of truth and realization: My strength is in You. Therefore I am blessed.

That leaves no room for doubt, for hesitancy, for argument. The question is, If I have come to know that God is my strength, why am I not always blessed? The answer: Because I do not always walk in what I have come to know!

In whose heart are the highways to Zion . . .

Said another way: In whose heart there is a deep desire to walk in Your will.

As the new creature in Christ Jesus that I am, it is my deep desire to walk in Your will. I now have "the laws of God written on my heart," and I "joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man," so this requirement has been met. It was met by You at the cross.

And once again, the man whose deep desire is to walk in Your will is a man who is blessed--unequivocally. This blessing is mine as I commit myself to walk in Your will, trusting in Your strength. And this doesn't mean I will always "perform" perfectly. That isn't what it says. It has to do with my heart's desire.

Passing through the valley of Baca, they make it a spring . . .

The valley of Baca, a desert. This Scripture doesn't identify what the difficulties of the "desert" may be, or how intense, how painful, how lengthy, how wrought with frustration--just difficult circumstances that plunge into my life. I would say that anything, small or large, that I find difficult to handle would qualify, from a small irritation to a devastating, tragic event.
These very difficulties become a source--a spring. But a spring reached only through hardships. This indicates another "process": Difficulties were not always this way for me, but they have become a source. A change takes place. I take another route. I view the difficult times that come into my life differently.

A source. A source of heat is a fire. A source of light is the sun. A source of vegetables is a garden--a source is where something originates. It's hard for me to see "difficulties" as the source where refreshment is going to be found. But I have experienced it, so I bypass the logical deduction and go with what I have come to know as Truth: With Your strength as my strength, desiring Your will in my heart, the desert of hardship becomes for me a spring.

I picture a person gulping water, either on all fours by a riverbed or drinking from a large glass with water spilling over the edges onto his coat--no thought of cost, of whose property the stream is on, of wet clothing--just satisfying the deep thirst.
What happens to a man who drinks deeply from a spring? He is strengthened, refreshed. . . the water ministers to his whole system. And I must keep in mind that the spring is God's power, not mine.

Is this power--this source--capable of meeting my problems? I would be hesitant to answer if I had not experienced this myself. For example: I have never experienced flying in a helicopter, so I can't discuss that with you. I can tell you how I think it might be, based on what I've heard from other people, but I don't know for sure. To experience something means I can speak with some authority on that subject: I know what it is like because I have been there. Well, I have drunk from His cool water when I've been so very tired and thirsty, and I know what happens. I have experienced it. And I assure you, it meets every test.
The early rain also covers it with blessings . . .

I can't think of anything that would communicate more beautifully just how blessed the man is whose strength is in You and whose heart desires Your will than the descriptive phrase "invigorating, early spring rain." Everything about it is so clean, so fresh, so alive. The air is sweet. The birds are singing. The drops of water sparkle on the flowers and trees, and the sky is startlingly blue. I want to take a deep breath and throw back my shoulders, facing with new strength my world. I am refreshed. I am blessed. You have touched my life.

They go from strength to strength . . .

I do not have to be strong. I tap into His strength. Is His strength sufficient? What a ridiculous question! And yet, how often do I, through my behavior, express doubt as to the sufficiency of His strength? I can't "run out" of His strength. When I've exhausted one supply, there's another ready and waiting--it's never-ending. I go from strength to strength.

O Lord, I thank You that the difficulties that come into my life today can be a source of refreshment and peace and joy for me. And how I thank You for my new heart and for the strength that You have given me for meeting every second of this new day.

February 5, 2012

A SAFE PLACE

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Fostering Hope

8 I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety.

Psalm 4:8

When I was growing up, safety was the last thing on my mind. We didn't lock our house, left our car running when we made a quick trip into the store, and walked everywhere without our parents. Not only was my community safe, my home was safe. There were no locks on bedroom doors; no worries about what might happen when my dad came home, or what my mom might be doing in the next room. That's not true for every child. She was 10 when I met her. She still possessed a child's frame, with barely any evidence that she had begun the journey to womanhood. She looked fearful as she entered the exam room, and that fear increased in magnitude when I shut the door. I quickly explained that nothing would hurt, there wouldn't be any shots - assuming that like most kids, her concern was about seeing a doctor. But the look on her face didn't soften. I touched her arm, hoping to reassure her, but she recoiled as if I had punched her. I saw her glance quickly at the male medical student who was with me, and I began to understand her concern.

He and I had reviewed her basic info before the visit - the police report stated that she had been sexually abused by a couple of male family members for the last year. She had finally told her best friend at school, who told the teacher, and now here she was. Safe. At least from our point of view. But safety is not just a location, not just about being in a place where you aren't harmed. It is a state of mind. It is being in a mental place where a door closing doesn't cause your heart to race. It is being able to experience healthy, normal human touch without withdrawing. It is about being able to sleep without wondering when your night is going to be interrupted. Safety is more than separation from danger. It is finding a place where you are loved, accepted, and cherished. Where body, soul, and spirit can thrive. THAT is the kind of safety we must seek to provide.

As always, reading this reading plan really hits home…  Those of us that have been through the abuse, not only as a child but as an adult, can truly step into that little girls shoes…  At first while I read this, and came to the part where he didn’t see ahead that she would be afraid of a man being in the room with her during her examination baffled me, then I understood; those that haven’t been through the abuse or haven’t been touched by it can’t understand how far and how primal that fear goes.  How a sound, a smell, a feeling or a sight can take you right back into that place of fear. 

I remember the days when a sound, a slammed door even, would trigger me and my body and mind would automatically go on the defensive.  Thankfully I’m not so bad now, although I still hate any doors being slammed, or someone coming in the room with a sour look on their face or looking pissy (I always ask what’s wrong, usually get a ‘nothing’ as an answer lol).  It’s those little things that add up for those of us that have Survived abuse.  I will honestly say that it does take a long time to heal, it isn’t easy, it isn’t fast, we can’t always measure it and so often we tend to go backwards or sideways in our healing, but that’s to be expected!

I’ve always looked at it like a pathway of healing…imagine a stepping stone path, you first come to woods on that path, densely grown and downright scary.  No telling what’s in those woods, what’s watching, the rustle of leaves gets you jumping.  Now, imagine continuing down that path, only to have it fork at times back towards the way you came, almost coming beside the original path you began on!  Then slowly, ever slowly, the path continues and those dense woods become less dense, the sun shines just a little more, the darkness recedes… At times the path still goes back a bit, but thankfully never back to the denseness that we began at!  Again, slowly, you continue down that path, which now has forks and turns that you just aren’t sure of and decisions to make, never sure which path to leave behind, and which way to go.  The good news is that as long as we choose to heal, to go down the paths that are safe and away from the darkness of our path, we will eventually come to the point where the path comes out into the sunshine! 

I can honestly tell you that my Faith in God has brought me through this path and has helped me steer clear of the dense darkness that plagued my past.  It’s made the trek through the turmoil easier, it’s made healing easier, and I’ve never had to do it alone.  I know for me when I went through the abuse I was alone in it, I didn’t have anyone to turn to or to talk to about the abuse, or about how to heal or what to do.  Those that I did talk to seemed to give good advice, but I just couldn’t connect to it.  Healing is hard, letting go of our past and learning to live in the present can be hard too, but it can be achieved!  Through God, He takes our burdens, our past, that darkness, and gives us a chance to heal.  Nope, still not easy, but if you’re anything like me, when has anything really been easy? lol  I can say this though, being healed of our past is worth fighting for…

February 4, 2012

Numbers

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Fostering Hope

I started a new reading plan just a few days ago, “Fostering Hope”, and it never fails to bring tears to my eyes and a rush of emotion every day…  So often we are caught up in our lives, in our situations, in the hell on earth that so many of us have to deal with that we don’t look around us to see those that are in need as well.  Even when we are going through our personal hell as I call it at times, there are still things that we can do to help those around us in need.  Extra clothes that we have that we know we’ll never wear for those that don’t have many or were burned out of their homes…food that we may have gotten from a pantry that we wont eat just sitting there taking up space for those that are hungry and would…a smile or a wave of the hand to acknowledge someone’s existence can brighten up a day of someone that is having it rough…  Sometimes it’s those little things that can mean so much to someone in need…

7 Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry, and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house? when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh?

Isaiah 58:7

NUMBERS

Numbers are an important part of our everyday lives. We use them to help us connect to others on our cell phones, to tell us which seat to sit in on a plane, and to help us find the correct highway. In the world of foster kids, one important number is the number of kids in custody. Thankfully, in my state that number has been declining, from 12,000 a couple of years ago to just about 8,000 today. There are lots of ideas about why the number is declining, and certainly lots of excitement. And there should be.

That said, do not think for one moment that the work with these kids and their families is done, that government agencies no longer needs the community to step up. I would argue the exact opposite. There aren't any fewer families who struggle. Life is difficult. Parenting is hard if there are two of you and you aren't worried about putting gas in the car or the next meal on the table. What if you are a single parent? What if it costs you more for a week of daycare than you earn in a week of work? What if a good day is one where the electricity and the water are both on at your house? Look around you. On your block. At your kids' school. Or the grocery store, or at church. There are hurting people everywhere. People who need to eat, need a ride, need a babysitter. Or perhaps they need the most important thing of all - a friend.

PRAYER FOR ME: Lord, open my eyes to see the needs of those around me. Take away my busy-ness, my pride, my belief that my action or inaction will not make a difference. Give me your compassion. Give me your passion! Break my heart for those who are suffering. Every day. Amen.

Prayer of Deliverance

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Abuse

13 But as for me, my prayer is unto thee, O Lord, in an acceptable time: O God, in the multitude of thy mercy hear me, in the truth of thy salvation.14 Deliver me out of the mire, and let me not sink: let me be delivered from them that hate me, and out of the deep waters.15 Let not the waterflood overflow me, neither let the deep swallow me up, and let not the pit shut her mouth upon me.16 Hear me, O Lord; for thy lovingkindness is good: turn unto me according to the multitude of thy tender mercies.17 And hide not thy face from thy servant; for I am in trouble: hear me speedily.18 Draw nigh unto my soul, and redeem it: deliver me because of mine enemies.

Psalm 69:13-18

Oh how I remember those nights alone, crying, hurting, wishing and praying for someone, anyone to get me away from the abuse, from the hurt and fear, from the situation….  My problem then was that I wasn’t praying to God!  Even after I prayed my heart out to “anyone”, I still felt so alone… I wish I knew then what I do now, that praying to God is so different and so much more fulfilling!  To pray to Him is to bring Him into our situation, to not only not be alone anymore, but a means of strength and peace, and knowing that it’s not only you anymore trying to carry the burden of the situation….

Love That Never Lets You Go

This is something I felt I really needed to share here….It took me a long time to fully understand that God wants our burdens, that it’s ok to hand them over to Him, it took me even longer to actually do so…  We are only human, and I know with me I feel that it’s my problems, I should handle them, but there is such a peace to hand them over to Him and to know that He is carrying them for you, He has much bigger shoulders to do so…

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Lifetime Daily Devotions

Love That Never Lets You Go

He's hurting again, Lord, and there's nothing I can do about it. It's been such a long ordeal. How much can he endure?

She moved out . . . she's gone . . . what did I say? What did I do? God, I tried so hard to be the mother she needed me to be.

How long is this going to go on? I don't think I can endure the loneliness another single day.
Cast your burden upon the Lord, and He will sustain you.

Psalm 55:22

Casting all your anxiety upon Him,
because He cares for you.

I Peter 5:7

What do you do with your burdens? People and circumstances that seem to drain every ounce of your strength, things you would like to give to the Lord but just can't seem to let go of?

God showed me how to give my burdens to Him . . . a simple little exercise, but oh so wonderful to experience. I'd like to share it with you.

You'll need about 30 minutes alone. Gather a few things together from home: an envelope, a piece of paper, a pen, a watch (preferably with a second hand), and a felt-tipped pen. Go buy a helium-filled balloon. Then immediately go somewhere where there are no obstacles, no trees or buildings--maybe a deserted football stadium or a park or a lake.

Take all your paraphernalia with you to the edge of the water or the center of the field. Write about your burden on the balloon with your felt-tipped pen, anything that will help you associate that balloon with your problem. Find a rock about the size of a half-brick, and hold it and the string to your balloon in your hand, lifting it with a straight arm at a 45-degree angle. Heavy, isn't it?

Begin talking to the Lord about your burden--all your thoughts, your fears, the pain, the destroyed dreams. As you are praying, your arm is going to get awfully tired. Keep right on praying. Tell Him everything. Any of the thoughts that you have had--vomit it all out--if there is bitterness, anger, depression--all of it.

By now you're crying, and you can't separate the emotional pain from the physical pain you're experiencing because your arm is hurting so badly. Then, when you cannot hold your arm up another single second, say something like this: "Lord, You have commanded me to give my burdens to You. I can't handle this. It's too much for me. I can't hold onto it any longer. You must take it." Drop the rock, release the string, and watch that burden float up into the heavens--into the open, waiting arms of God.

Thank Him for telling you to give Him your burden--and for taking it. Look at your watch and record the time and date on your piece of paper. Write this: On (date/time), I gave my burden to the Lord. And He took it. (Print that last line.)

Look up into the sky and find that tiny speck. It's His--it is no longer yours. It's not in your hand. He told you to give it to Him, and you did. Now fold your paper and put it in your envelope (where is the balloon? catch one last glimpse of it). Seal it, and on the outside write "GOD" and then the date.

When you get home, get an index card and cut it into strips. On each strip write just the date. Put a strip over the sink, one in your bathroom medicine cabinet by your toothbrush, one on the dash of your car--anyplace where you can glance at it--and thank Him for taking your burden. (Close your eyes and visualize that speck in the sky again.)

Please know that I love you. I understand. Oh, not completely, but I long to help. I pray that this simple exercise will give you peace. Remember, your emotions are not the barometer of peace. KNOWING that He has taken your burden and will handle it with wisdom and loving tenderness is the key to peace. (Remember how that balloon went straight to Him when you released it?)

Think on these things.


Just as my child brings his broken toys
with tears
for me to mend,
I took my broken dreams to God
because He was my Friend.
But then . . . instead of leaving Him
in peace
to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help
with ways that were my own.
At last I snatched them back
and cried,
"How could You be so slow?"
"What could I do, My child?" He said.
"You never did let go."

Faith Mitchner

As I read on my daily readings (I’m a day behind so reading 2 of each reading plan to play catch up…), this was mentioned again and I wanted to share this with you.  Another way of looking at it, a way to help make sense out of the sometimes senselessness that envelopes us….

Trusting Him with My Burdens

God has told me to give Him my burdens, remember?

Cast your burden upon the Lord, and He will sustain you.

Psalm 55:22

I sincerely want to do this. I know He is much more capable than I am when it comes to handling life's problems. He's always present on the scene, able to choreograph circumstances to the best interest of the person for whom I am concerned. I know these things, but do I really trust Him to handle the burdens I give Him?

* * *

I had several sacks to give to the Salvation Army, so I called to ask them to come by, then placed the sacks on the front porch so they could pick them up whether I was home or not.

Thursday was pickup day. But I got my days mixed up and thought they were to come on Wednesday, and when they didn't show up I thought that they had forgotten me and my sacks. I'd go to the door . . . yep! sacks still there. It's raining. Go out and move the sacks. Night came. Will the sacks be safe? Then on Thursday they were late in coming, and so once again I assumed the responsibility for "watching over the sacks." Then they came! I watched them drive away with my sacks in their truck; they had changed hands and were not my burden any longer.

Now I didn't call them a single time to check on those sacks. I trusted them to handle the things I gave them to the best of their ability, and, since they do this kind of work all the time, to do their job well.

The question:

Have I done as much with the burden I have given to the Lord?

Is He capable?

Has it really been "picked up"?

What if it rains?

What will happen when night comes?

Do I trust Him as much as I trusted those men who picked up my sacks?

Oh, I do, Lord, I do! You came at my request. You picked up my burden, put it in Your truck, and drove off. Now I must trust You to work with what I gave to You; and since You do this kind of work all the time, I'm sure You will do it well.

An afterthought:

Leave it to the Lord to use sacks of unwanted
and outgrown clothing to remind me of just
what it means to throw my burdens on Him.