We as Christians need to step out & help support in the healing...

1 in 3 women experience DV in their life...1 in 3...how many women sit in your sanctuary on Sunday morning?  How many women do you incounter every day?

Just because church is full of Christians...it doesn't mean that the have been able to escape being touched by DV.  In my church I can think of a few women who have gone through DV, & can think of one who's Mother was killed by his Father, & a few others that grew up in DV & abuse, & yet another who is going through a DV situation right now...& do you know that the ones I talked to about it didn't even know it was DV Awareness Month?

As I stated on the LC Blog, DV feeds off isolation & the lack of information.  The lack of support...the lack of understanding...our society the way it is set up is perfect for DV to breed...is perfect for Satan's playground...

As Christians we have a duty to reach out to those who are hurting...who are in pain...who need help.  Isn't that who Jesus went out & sought everywhere He went?  Not only those that needed physical healing, but those who were hurting from within! 

How many survivors are being blocked from truly understanding the full Love of Our Father?  How many are struggling, even as Christians, that they are alone?  How many out there could use someone to reach out to them & let them know that not only are you there for them, but that God is ALWAYS with them & they are NEVER alone in their pain?

1 in 3

Is your church reaching out to these during this Month...during DV Awareness Month?  If so, let us know how!  If not, why not?  Why are we as Christians allowing Satan to win this battle?  Why are we as Christians allowing those affected by DV to continue to suffer alone? 

I as a Christian Survivor of DV will not let it continue to be so in my Church...in my life.  Are you willing to do the same?

My Hope is in God…

Grabbed off FB: Women of Christian Faith

The Lord has made known to me the path of life;he fills me with the joy of his presence, with eternal pleasures at his right hand. (Psalm 16:11)

When my soul is feeling down, I do not rely on my feelings. I remember my hope is in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. (Psalm 42:5-6)

Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. ~Colo 3:2

The Eagle’s Flight

I really needed to read this today…  Isn’t it amazing that there’s times when we really need to hear something, and there it is, supplied for us?  I’ve fallen behind on my daily readings, been sick and tired of being sick and tired, and just have been downright lagging behind on everything.  Reading this builds me up, shows me that it’s ok, that He’s there to give me the strength that I need that I don’t have within myself.  How often have we lagged behind?  How often have we been through circumstances that we just don’t have the strength to get through by ourselves?  Reach out, know that He is willing and able to give you that strength when you are in need!

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Lifetime Daily Devotions

28 Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening? God doesn't come and go. God lasts. He's Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out.29 He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts.30 For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall.31 But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind.

Isaiah 40:28-31

The Eagle's Flight

Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Everlasting God, the Lord,
The Creator of the ends of the earth
Does not become weary or tired.
His understanding is inscrutable.
He gives strength to the weary,
And to him who lacks might He increases power.
Though youths grow weary and tired,
And vigorous young men stumble badly,
Yet those who wait for the Lord
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.
Isaiah 40:28-31

Do you not know?

Haven't you learned this yet? I have tried so many ways to teach you the simple truth of resting in My strength. You are too strong to need Me. As long as your strength endures, you will clutch it to your breast. No. You do not know yet.

Have you not heard?

It cannot be that you have never heard this. Perhaps you've never been ready to receive it, but surely you have heard?

The Everlasting God, The Lord,

The Creator of the ends of the earth,

Does not become weary or tired.

The Lord, our Lord Jesus Christ, the One who created everything in the heavens and the earth, isn't like you or me. He doesn't get tired. He doesn't know what it is to be weary! Too often we make God out to be like us. Temperamental. Impatient. Difficult. Pressured.

No. We mustn't make God like us. We are like God--and are becoming more and more like Him as He works within us.

His understanding is inscrutable.

We can't begin to comprehend--even slightly-- how deep His understanding is of each of us and everything that concerns us. I need that: understanding. Understanding that doesn't scold or condemn. Understanding that doesn't preach to me. Understanding that listens and tries to see things from my point of view. Understanding that speaks softly.

He gives strength to the weary,

He watches carefully, and when He sees us getting weary, He supplies more strength. It's kind of like watering your plants. You watch them carefully, and at the slightest droop you give them a drink. He sees our slightest droop.

And to him who lacks might He increases power.

He is always ready to empower us. He waits to be asked, but His power is always available to us.

Though youths grow weary and tired,

You know how kids seem to have an unlimited source of energy? Well, even if one of them should falter, He is there with His boundless, infinite power.

And vigorous young men stumble badly,

Even if a trained athlete or a very strong young man should stumble or trip badly, He's right there, ready to lift him up and infuse new energy into him. I'm not young and I'm not an athlete, but there's a wide variety of folks in between those two . . . where I fit.

Yet . . .

I love God's conjunctions. He always gives us a way out or some unexpected hope.

Those who wait for the Lord

There's the word: wait. How hard that is to do! We know deep within that He will sustain us. We know that His wisdom is far beyond ours. We know that His love for us is the motivator and the restrainer in our lives. But even knowing all of that, "waiting" for Him is something that most of us can't--or refuse to--actually do.

Will gain new strength,
Will mount up with wings like eagles,
Will run and not get tired,
Will walk and not get weary.

* * *

Lord,

Not only do I want all of these things, I need all of these things. An endless supply of strength, and not just shoring up the old strength that wears thin. New strength! And like an eagle. . . .

Did you know that eagles don't fly in flocks, like other birds do? They fly alone. And they can fly 6000 feet above the surface of the earth. Imagine! An eagle soaring in the upper air doesn't have to worry about tunneling through mountains, or fording swollen rivers, or losing his sense of direction and getting lost in the dense forests.

Me? Like an eagle? How wonderful! Soaring in the upper air all by myself, looking down on the scary things but not fretting about them. That could be me. . . . And Lord, to keep on--day after day after day--and not give out, whether it's a hectic "running" day or a "walking" busy day. You sustain me.

As usual, Lord, I realize that the choice is mine.

Would You teach me, please?

Teach me to wait?

Spiritual Growth

I’m going through a course called “Soul Care” from Christian Courses and today I came to a lesson where the discussion afterwards was about “An ongoing controversy in Christian circles centers on whether a look at the realities below the waterline is really necessary for true spiritual growth.”  Thankfully I was within the group that was to argue the point that you do indeed have to look below the waterline.  I feel compelled to share this here…

While working on this I had to get a turkey in for dinner, and God shared with me an analogy that I am still sitting and laughing about, thanking Him for the insight and comic relief...

You wouldn't bake a turkey without knowing what's in it first would you?  When you get a turkey from the store, they place the bags of the "extras" within the cavity of the turkey, both front and back you may say.  These need to be dealt with and taken out of the turkey before cooking it or quite frankly, the turkey just won't taste so good now would it?  You wouldn't want to present this turkey at a Thanksgiving feast after having cooked it with these "extras" still included would you?  You take the extras out; they are not wanted when cooking a turkey!  Not only that, but what if that turkey is still frozen, doesn't it take longer to cook?  Don't you have to put the heat on lower to give that turkey time to thaw out so that you can then put the spices and dressings on and crank the heat up so that it can finally get cooking?

It's the same with us!  We all have "extras" stuffed in hidden places within us.  We all have undesirables that need to be known at least of ourselves and dealt with before we can proclaim ourselves presentable and ready to be baked.  We all have things to work on within ourselves, the realities that we all face below the waterline that we have to deal with while we thaw out and get ready to get baking and grow spiritually.  Just as we wouldn't want to present that turkey at Thanksgiving after cooking it with the "extras" still in, we wouldn't want to present ourselves with our "extras" still in when we come to our time of judgment.  We have to look at the realities below the waterline so that we may know what they are and work on clearing them out!

We are all vessels of the Holy Spirit.  We are all striving to be filled with the Holy Spirit so that it can work through us.  If we are stuffed with "extras" how is that leaving room to be filled by the good things?  It takes up room that we need to be filled by the Holy Spirit and inhibits us from Spiritual Growth!  When you are filled with these "extras", when you are filled up by undesirables, what comes out when you get bumped?  What comes out when you go through a rough time or hit a bump in the road?  These "extras" do indeed affect us, and instead of the Holy Spirit coming out of us when someone cuts us off at the intersection, those "extras" have a tendency to flow out instead.  Instead of feeling at peace that God is with you and that even if you are facing a difficult situation God will indeed see you through, if you are filled with doubt and worry instead of peace of mind, how can you grow spiritually?  What are you filled with?  What comes out of you when you get bumped?  What thoughts go through your mind when you are going through troubling times?

If you are having issues yourself with past abuse, rape, anorexia, cheating, whatever the case may be, this indeed hinders your spiritual growth and becoming more Christ like if they aren't dealt with affectively.  If you are having feelings of inadequacy, if you are going through a tough time in life and just aren't dealing with it very well, if you are questioning your belief in God and how He is working in your life, how can you grow spiritually?  These are all realities that are stuffed within us, hiding from plain site, that do indeed need to be dealt with before we can grow spiritually!

If we look inside ourselves and find ourselves questioning our Christianity, small questions that we hide because we want to look "Christian" to the outside world, how are we to grow spiritually?  Questions such as "Where was God while I was going through the abuse?"  "How come God didn't help me not have to go through my job loss?"  "Why did God let me get cancer?"  Small questions that are indeed big, things within ourselves that stops us from growing spiritually.  If we go to church on Sunday because we're supposed too, if we wear the mask of Christianity because that's what we feel others expect to see; if we say our prayers, do our devotionals, and go to church because we feel that's what good Christians do, how are we growing spiritually?

As looking below the waterline pertains to Soul Care, and actually helping someone and supporting them through their issues to grow spiritually, they first have to have an understanding of what realities they are dealing with and how they pertain to themselves and their feelings towards God.  Too often people blame God for their troubles.  Too often people turn away from God because of what they are going through instead of turning towards Him and giving Him their troubles so that they can affectively live through Him.  These realities that are going through deep inside hinder their spiritual growth!

James 1:23-25 "Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.  But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it - he will be blessed in what he does."

In order to follow this, we have to look inside ourselves at the reality of what we are doing and if we are indeed following Christ so that we may grow spiritually.  If we don't look in that mirror, if we don't look what's going on deep inside us and at the realities of who we are and what we are doing and going through, how are we to then grow spiritually?

Galatians 5:16-18, 24-26 " So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.  For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature.  They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.  But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law...Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires.  Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.  Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other."

Galatians 5:19-23 "Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies and things like these.  I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."

The message is clear, if we are filled with things within us that go against what is needed to achieve Spiritual Growth, we've got to look deep inside ourselves so that we can insure that we are not doing those things that area against the Spiritual Growth that we are striving to achieve.  Some things listed are plainly evident and easy to see, right out there on the surface; but others such as envy are sometimes buried deeper and need a closer inspection.  Without us consciously understanding and seeing the realities under the waterline within our own lives, we would be fooling ourselves into thinking that we are indeed ready to grow spiritually and will struggle with being able to do so.  Would you want to show up at the time of our judgment with those "extras" still stuffed inside you?

Mosaic

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Fostering Hope

12 And they that shall be of thee shall build the old waste places: thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations; and thou shalt be called, The repairer of the breach, The restorer of paths to dwell in.

Isaiah 58:12

MOSAIC
At 16, she clearly had more street smarts than most people do at twice her age. On the surface, she was really kind of a mess to look at. Her skin bore the evidence of darker days, as superficial scars covered her wrists and thighs. She had hoped that causing pain on the outside would alleviate the pain on the inside, but that only worked for a little while. She also sported a couple of not-very-well-done tattoos and several piercings that I could see. She grinned a little and mentioned that there were others, but I left that subject alone.

I wanted to know more about her. Her parents were drug addicts; high on whatever they could buy or steal most of her life. At age 7 she was living with them in a tent by a lake, and it was at that age she learned to smoke by sneaking leftover cigarettes when they were passed out. By 10 she was an alcoholic, and by 13 had used almost every street drug known. At some point she could no longer self-medicate her reality, and she began to think about ending her life. By anyone's standards, her life was a pile of shattered pieces. Then she met this boy. A really good boy. Who told her she was smart. And funny. And beautiful. And who believed in her. One by one, with patience and care, he began to glue her life back together. Piece by shattered piece. Until she was off drugs. And alcohol free. And in a GED program. And thinking about the future, and marriage, and being a mom someday. 'My life is a mosaic,' she told me. 'There are a lot of pieces, but now they fit together to make a picture.' Not just a picture. A masterpiece. A beautiful work of art.

PRAYER FOR THE BROKEN: Thank you Father for Your amazing love. Show these kids that whatever they have brought in with them to that shelter or foster home, You can wipe it clean. Show them there is love for them, healing for them, and hope for them. Help them feel Your amazing grace. Amen

WOW, just wow!  I’ve often thought of myself as a “Humpty Dumpty” that has fallen off the wall and have had to slowly piece myself back together once again, but I so much like this outlook much better! lol

How many of us have had to piece ourselves together again?  Grabbing our self esteem from here, our ability to trust from waaayyyy over there, and have had to slowly piece ourselves together like a Mosaic?  Many of us have, and I truly feel like it says above, that each and every one of us are a masterpiece just waiting to be finished.

Let’s add to the prayer above.  Let’s pray for all those that have gone through abuse, domestic violence, rape, bullying, all and every type of demeaning and degrading styles of harm there are out there.  Pray that they will feel the Love not only from Our Father, but from all of us that are out here to support them through to their healing, their piecing together.  Lord, give them the strength they need to get through, and open their eyes so that they may see your Love for them, whether they are pieced together or not.  Amen

When the going gets tough…

The tough need to turn to God

With the economy it’s only getting tougher out there.  Domestic Violence, Child Abuse, Rape, Violence, break ins, crime is on the rise.  So many are having it tough to just get through the week, much less be able to plan for the future at this point.  A future that can’t be set in stone for we don’t know what may close or downsize next.  The future is unpredictable, but one thing we can all count on is that God is there for everyone that turns to Him.

I’m not just saying this as a quick fix, I can look back at times of troubles that I’ve gone through both by myself, then as a single mother, then as a family, and it’s harder to go through these problems without Him by your side.  Being able to talk to Him, to share or give over your burdens, fears and stress; to lift these all up to Him to carry is such a peaceful blessing! 

I can think back to crying alone at night, with no one to turn too, no one to listen, no one that I felt would understand what I was going through.  Being alone, totally alone like that is one of the hardest things I had to go through.  Being able to turn to Him at any time and know that He is there for me, to know that He’ll give me the strength to overcome whatever I’m going through is such a blessing! 

It’s hard to hand it all to Him, to stop worrying, to stop stressing, to not look at the bills piling up and wondering how they are going to be paid, to look at your children and not worry and stress how you’re going to feed them.  These are all concerns that are very important, and lifting these all up to Him to bare may seem alien to so many.  To be able to give up these concerns and not try to control them but giving it to His control is so hard to do, but it can be done!  The result is such peace even during the storms that you are going to make it through, even when your mind is telling you it’s impossible, everything is possible with God on your side!

If you are going through tough times, know that you aren’t alone!  Not only are so many others going through tough times as well, but God is there for you.  Turn to Him, speak to Him, pray to Him, lift up your troubles to Him!  It’ll take a lot of faith and even practice to finally give it all over to Him without wanting to grab at least bits and pieces back for yourself to stress over, just know that it takes time to give over to Him full control of it all, but I can promise you the end result is so worth all the effort!

REDEMPTION

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Fostering Hope

9 But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light:10 Which in time past were not a people, but are now the people of God: which had not obtained mercy, but now have obtained mercy.

1 Peter 2:9-10

REDEMPTION

Through the thin walls, she could hear the screaming of her step-dad. Cursing. Crashing. Drunken rage being taken out yet again on her family. She wished she could disappear. Wanted to die. That seemed so much more peaceful a place. But not an option - not to her. Her eyes swept across the tiny bedroom, searching for something to relieve the pain. She reached for a nearby wooden pencil. Its eraser was long gone, and the bent metal end provided an avenue for the escape she was so desperate to find. The aluminum cut into her skin, etching the first letters of a message - HATE - onto her side. Tears from the pain of the cut mixed with tears from the pain in her heart and rolled down her cheeks. Then, her soul quieted, as her heavenly Papa gathered her into his arms and held her close. His voice, His truth flooded her mind, and spilled out onto the worn notebook lying beside her bed. 'I know you, I love you. I liberate you, I light your path. I provide you with friends and a way out when you are stuck. I'm your healer and your guide. You are valuable, you have a future. You are my precious daughter' The pencil, a tool Satan meant for evil, God used for good. The same pencil that started off destructive, making temporary imprints in her flesh, God used to carve a permanent note of redemption on her heart.

And yet, so many still state that children are not affected by Domestic Violence, oh how wrong they are.  How can a child that sees and hears the violence not be affected by it?  Just because them themselves don’t carry the physical bruising that the world can see?  Yet, they do carry the scars and bruises deep on the inside that are hidden, and that many of us know and understand can at times be harder to heal then the physical bruising.

I was a cutter as a teen, I can understand cutting and why someone would turn to it.  It’s a release, it’s a visual that you are indeed hurt and bleeding and that the hurt you are feeling is warranted (ever heard the saying “You’re ok, you’re not bleeding”?).  So many try to make cutting into such a worse light, for so many cutters it’s them trying to make sense out of the emotions and hurt they are feeling, it’s their expressing that hurt in a way that isn’t healthy.  Thankfully I stopped cutting long ago, but I know adults that still do it, and I pray that they and others that cut find peace and another outlet for their pain and head towards healing.  Like any addiction, cutting can be hard to stop, but it can be done!  Turn towards God for strength and healing, turn towards those that lift you up and don’t put you down, turn towards a healthy, happy life and those cuts will heal…

YOU CAN FLY

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Fostering Hope

58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.

1 Corinthians 15:58

YOU CAN FLY
I love to fly. I always choose a window seat right over the wing, near the jets so I can best hear the roar of the engines and watch the wing shape change as we take off and land. But I always find myself doubting that it will even work, that the plane can even get off the ground. There is too much weight. People. Baggage. And it starts too slowly - those first few feet of movement are painfully slow. But the thing about a plane is, it was made to fly. It was shaped in a specific way, and it was equipped with engines that are capable of producing tremendous thrust, if they are fueled properly. Once it gets in the air, it seems like it could stay there forever with very little effort. Foster kids come weighed down too. With lots of baggage. I was molested, so now I don't trust men. Or I use my body to get what I want. I was physically abused, and now I believe I am to blame for whatever I get, so I move from abusive relationship to abusive relationship. My emotional needs weren't met, so now I suck the life out of others, desperately trying to fill up my own soul.

It is easy to believe that a kid carrying that kind of weight won't be able to get off the ground. But the truth is, they, like all humans, were made to fly. Born for it. But they need fuel. They need us to provide the thing that powers them. Encouragement. Expectation. Opportunity. Love. Hope. Without it, they are grounded. With it, if they can get off the ground, they might just fly forever. Are you willing to fuel someone's hopes and dreams? Willing to mentor? To tutor? To help a kid dream then help them achieve that dream? Are you willing to help someone fly?

I LOVE this reading plan! 

I love how the writer put this, and even though this is dealing with children, the same thing can be said for the adult survivors of all types of abuse.  Our wings get clipped and we don’t know that we can even fly much less remember how after going through hell.  We all need help to find our feet again and to become steady once again, to find ourselves and learn who we are once again before we can even think about learning how to spread our wings and fly.  It takes time, but healing is possible, flying is possible! 

I shared this even though this is more of a message to Advocates and those healed enough to help others, because it also puts to mind that advocates are needed!  It’s so hard to get through healing from abuse alone, quite frankly it sucks having too, and I truly feel that Survivors really need to reach out and help those that are going through what they went through now.  Those of us that have been through the abuse know and understand the full picture and can be of such a help to those that are out there now struggling through it!  So, if you are a healed Survivor, and you are willing and able to reach out to your brother and sister survivors, please do so!  If you don’t know how, contact us!  We’ll help steer you in the right direction.

For the Survivors out there still struggling through your personal hell, know that there IS hope and that you CAN heal and that you are NOT alone!  So many have gone through the abuse and have healed, you can too!  Hang in there, reach out, and know that someday you will heal and you will Fly again!

Refreshment in the Desert

I know that when are going through abuse, we are always running out of strength, we are always drawing from ourselves and wearing out fast.  Reading this just made sense to me in many ways and I wanted to share this with you…

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Lifetime Daily Devotions

Refreshment in the Desert

How blessed is the man whose strength is in Thee,
In whose heart are the highways to Zion!
Passing through the valley of Baca, they make it a spring;
The early rain also covers it with blessings.
They go from strength to strength.

Psalm 84:5-7

How blessed is the man whose strength is in You . . .
Do I seek blessings? Of course.
Am I always sure of the route to take to receive a blessing? No.
Well, here is a route that is guaranteed.
The man who has come to know that You are his strength is a man
who is blessed.

If I have come to know that You are my strength, then in all probability I've been drawing strength from some other source--myself, no doubt--and this "other" strength has disappointed me. It hasn't worked. It hasn't been effective. Perhaps I've tried many avenues seeking to rejuvenate that strength, and, after humiliating failures, frustration, emotional pain, and step-by-sometimes-painful step, I have come to the conclusion that I don't have the strength.

For me this has been a process whereby I have come to know something that I didn't know before. I have arrived at a point of truth and realization: My strength is in You. Therefore I am blessed.

That leaves no room for doubt, for hesitancy, for argument. The question is, If I have come to know that God is my strength, why am I not always blessed? The answer: Because I do not always walk in what I have come to know!

In whose heart are the highways to Zion . . .

Said another way: In whose heart there is a deep desire to walk in Your will.

As the new creature in Christ Jesus that I am, it is my deep desire to walk in Your will. I now have "the laws of God written on my heart," and I "joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man," so this requirement has been met. It was met by You at the cross.

And once again, the man whose deep desire is to walk in Your will is a man who is blessed--unequivocally. This blessing is mine as I commit myself to walk in Your will, trusting in Your strength. And this doesn't mean I will always "perform" perfectly. That isn't what it says. It has to do with my heart's desire.

Passing through the valley of Baca, they make it a spring . . .

The valley of Baca, a desert. This Scripture doesn't identify what the difficulties of the "desert" may be, or how intense, how painful, how lengthy, how wrought with frustration--just difficult circumstances that plunge into my life. I would say that anything, small or large, that I find difficult to handle would qualify, from a small irritation to a devastating, tragic event.
These very difficulties become a source--a spring. But a spring reached only through hardships. This indicates another "process": Difficulties were not always this way for me, but they have become a source. A change takes place. I take another route. I view the difficult times that come into my life differently.

A source. A source of heat is a fire. A source of light is the sun. A source of vegetables is a garden--a source is where something originates. It's hard for me to see "difficulties" as the source where refreshment is going to be found. But I have experienced it, so I bypass the logical deduction and go with what I have come to know as Truth: With Your strength as my strength, desiring Your will in my heart, the desert of hardship becomes for me a spring.

I picture a person gulping water, either on all fours by a riverbed or drinking from a large glass with water spilling over the edges onto his coat--no thought of cost, of whose property the stream is on, of wet clothing--just satisfying the deep thirst.
What happens to a man who drinks deeply from a spring? He is strengthened, refreshed. . . the water ministers to his whole system. And I must keep in mind that the spring is God's power, not mine.

Is this power--this source--capable of meeting my problems? I would be hesitant to answer if I had not experienced this myself. For example: I have never experienced flying in a helicopter, so I can't discuss that with you. I can tell you how I think it might be, based on what I've heard from other people, but I don't know for sure. To experience something means I can speak with some authority on that subject: I know what it is like because I have been there. Well, I have drunk from His cool water when I've been so very tired and thirsty, and I know what happens. I have experienced it. And I assure you, it meets every test.
The early rain also covers it with blessings . . .

I can't think of anything that would communicate more beautifully just how blessed the man is whose strength is in You and whose heart desires Your will than the descriptive phrase "invigorating, early spring rain." Everything about it is so clean, so fresh, so alive. The air is sweet. The birds are singing. The drops of water sparkle on the flowers and trees, and the sky is startlingly blue. I want to take a deep breath and throw back my shoulders, facing with new strength my world. I am refreshed. I am blessed. You have touched my life.

They go from strength to strength . . .

I do not have to be strong. I tap into His strength. Is His strength sufficient? What a ridiculous question! And yet, how often do I, through my behavior, express doubt as to the sufficiency of His strength? I can't "run out" of His strength. When I've exhausted one supply, there's another ready and waiting--it's never-ending. I go from strength to strength.

O Lord, I thank You that the difficulties that come into my life today can be a source of refreshment and peace and joy for me. And how I thank You for my new heart and for the strength that You have given me for meeting every second of this new day.

A SAFE PLACE

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Fostering Hope

8 I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety.

Psalm 4:8

When I was growing up, safety was the last thing on my mind. We didn't lock our house, left our car running when we made a quick trip into the store, and walked everywhere without our parents. Not only was my community safe, my home was safe. There were no locks on bedroom doors; no worries about what might happen when my dad came home, or what my mom might be doing in the next room. That's not true for every child. She was 10 when I met her. She still possessed a child's frame, with barely any evidence that she had begun the journey to womanhood. She looked fearful as she entered the exam room, and that fear increased in magnitude when I shut the door. I quickly explained that nothing would hurt, there wouldn't be any shots - assuming that like most kids, her concern was about seeing a doctor. But the look on her face didn't soften. I touched her arm, hoping to reassure her, but she recoiled as if I had punched her. I saw her glance quickly at the male medical student who was with me, and I began to understand her concern.

He and I had reviewed her basic info before the visit - the police report stated that she had been sexually abused by a couple of male family members for the last year. She had finally told her best friend at school, who told the teacher, and now here she was. Safe. At least from our point of view. But safety is not just a location, not just about being in a place where you aren't harmed. It is a state of mind. It is being in a mental place where a door closing doesn't cause your heart to race. It is being able to experience healthy, normal human touch without withdrawing. It is about being able to sleep without wondering when your night is going to be interrupted. Safety is more than separation from danger. It is finding a place where you are loved, accepted, and cherished. Where body, soul, and spirit can thrive. THAT is the kind of safety we must seek to provide.

As always, reading this reading plan really hits home…  Those of us that have been through the abuse, not only as a child but as an adult, can truly step into that little girls shoes…  At first while I read this, and came to the part where he didn’t see ahead that she would be afraid of a man being in the room with her during her examination baffled me, then I understood; those that haven’t been through the abuse or haven’t been touched by it can’t understand how far and how primal that fear goes.  How a sound, a smell, a feeling or a sight can take you right back into that place of fear. 

I remember the days when a sound, a slammed door even, would trigger me and my body and mind would automatically go on the defensive.  Thankfully I’m not so bad now, although I still hate any doors being slammed, or someone coming in the room with a sour look on their face or looking pissy (I always ask what’s wrong, usually get a ‘nothing’ as an answer lol).  It’s those little things that add up for those of us that have Survived abuse.  I will honestly say that it does take a long time to heal, it isn’t easy, it isn’t fast, we can’t always measure it and so often we tend to go backwards or sideways in our healing, but that’s to be expected!

I’ve always looked at it like a pathway of healing…imagine a stepping stone path, you first come to woods on that path, densely grown and downright scary.  No telling what’s in those woods, what’s watching, the rustle of leaves gets you jumping.  Now, imagine continuing down that path, only to have it fork at times back towards the way you came, almost coming beside the original path you began on!  Then slowly, ever slowly, the path continues and those dense woods become less dense, the sun shines just a little more, the darkness recedes… At times the path still goes back a bit, but thankfully never back to the denseness that we began at!  Again, slowly, you continue down that path, which now has forks and turns that you just aren’t sure of and decisions to make, never sure which path to leave behind, and which way to go.  The good news is that as long as we choose to heal, to go down the paths that are safe and away from the darkness of our path, we will eventually come to the point where the path comes out into the sunshine! 

I can honestly tell you that my Faith in God has brought me through this path and has helped me steer clear of the dense darkness that plagued my past.  It’s made the trek through the turmoil easier, it’s made healing easier, and I’ve never had to do it alone.  I know for me when I went through the abuse I was alone in it, I didn’t have anyone to turn to or to talk to about the abuse, or about how to heal or what to do.  Those that I did talk to seemed to give good advice, but I just couldn’t connect to it.  Healing is hard, letting go of our past and learning to live in the present can be hard too, but it can be achieved!  Through God, He takes our burdens, our past, that darkness, and gives us a chance to heal.  Nope, still not easy, but if you’re anything like me, when has anything really been easy? lol  I can say this though, being healed of our past is worth fighting for…

Numbers

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Fostering Hope

I started a new reading plan just a few days ago, “Fostering Hope”, and it never fails to bring tears to my eyes and a rush of emotion every day…  So often we are caught up in our lives, in our situations, in the hell on earth that so many of us have to deal with that we don’t look around us to see those that are in need as well.  Even when we are going through our personal hell as I call it at times, there are still things that we can do to help those around us in need.  Extra clothes that we have that we know we’ll never wear for those that don’t have many or were burned out of their homes…food that we may have gotten from a pantry that we wont eat just sitting there taking up space for those that are hungry and would…a smile or a wave of the hand to acknowledge someone’s existence can brighten up a day of someone that is having it rough…  Sometimes it’s those little things that can mean so much to someone in need…

7 Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry, and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house? when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh?

Isaiah 58:7

NUMBERS

Numbers are an important part of our everyday lives. We use them to help us connect to others on our cell phones, to tell us which seat to sit in on a plane, and to help us find the correct highway. In the world of foster kids, one important number is the number of kids in custody. Thankfully, in my state that number has been declining, from 12,000 a couple of years ago to just about 8,000 today. There are lots of ideas about why the number is declining, and certainly lots of excitement. And there should be.

That said, do not think for one moment that the work with these kids and their families is done, that government agencies no longer needs the community to step up. I would argue the exact opposite. There aren't any fewer families who struggle. Life is difficult. Parenting is hard if there are two of you and you aren't worried about putting gas in the car or the next meal on the table. What if you are a single parent? What if it costs you more for a week of daycare than you earn in a week of work? What if a good day is one where the electricity and the water are both on at your house? Look around you. On your block. At your kids' school. Or the grocery store, or at church. There are hurting people everywhere. People who need to eat, need a ride, need a babysitter. Or perhaps they need the most important thing of all - a friend.

PRAYER FOR ME: Lord, open my eyes to see the needs of those around me. Take away my busy-ness, my pride, my belief that my action or inaction will not make a difference. Give me your compassion. Give me your passion! Break my heart for those who are suffering. Every day. Amen.

Prayer of Deliverance

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Abuse

13 But as for me, my prayer is unto thee, O Lord, in an acceptable time: O God, in the multitude of thy mercy hear me, in the truth of thy salvation.14 Deliver me out of the mire, and let me not sink: let me be delivered from them that hate me, and out of the deep waters.15 Let not the waterflood overflow me, neither let the deep swallow me up, and let not the pit shut her mouth upon me.16 Hear me, O Lord; for thy lovingkindness is good: turn unto me according to the multitude of thy tender mercies.17 And hide not thy face from thy servant; for I am in trouble: hear me speedily.18 Draw nigh unto my soul, and redeem it: deliver me because of mine enemies.

Psalm 69:13-18

Oh how I remember those nights alone, crying, hurting, wishing and praying for someone, anyone to get me away from the abuse, from the hurt and fear, from the situation….  My problem then was that I wasn’t praying to God!  Even after I prayed my heart out to “anyone”, I still felt so alone… I wish I knew then what I do now, that praying to God is so different and so much more fulfilling!  To pray to Him is to bring Him into our situation, to not only not be alone anymore, but a means of strength and peace, and knowing that it’s not only you anymore trying to carry the burden of the situation….

Love That Never Lets You Go

This is something I felt I really needed to share here….It took me a long time to fully understand that God wants our burdens, that it’s ok to hand them over to Him, it took me even longer to actually do so…  We are only human, and I know with me I feel that it’s my problems, I should handle them, but there is such a peace to hand them over to Him and to know that He is carrying them for you, He has much bigger shoulders to do so…

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Lifetime Daily Devotions

Love That Never Lets You Go

He's hurting again, Lord, and there's nothing I can do about it. It's been such a long ordeal. How much can he endure?

She moved out . . . she's gone . . . what did I say? What did I do? God, I tried so hard to be the mother she needed me to be.

How long is this going to go on? I don't think I can endure the loneliness another single day.
Cast your burden upon the Lord, and He will sustain you.

Psalm 55:22

Casting all your anxiety upon Him,
because He cares for you.

I Peter 5:7

What do you do with your burdens? People and circumstances that seem to drain every ounce of your strength, things you would like to give to the Lord but just can't seem to let go of?

God showed me how to give my burdens to Him . . . a simple little exercise, but oh so wonderful to experience. I'd like to share it with you.

You'll need about 30 minutes alone. Gather a few things together from home: an envelope, a piece of paper, a pen, a watch (preferably with a second hand), and a felt-tipped pen. Go buy a helium-filled balloon. Then immediately go somewhere where there are no obstacles, no trees or buildings--maybe a deserted football stadium or a park or a lake.

Take all your paraphernalia with you to the edge of the water or the center of the field. Write about your burden on the balloon with your felt-tipped pen, anything that will help you associate that balloon with your problem. Find a rock about the size of a half-brick, and hold it and the string to your balloon in your hand, lifting it with a straight arm at a 45-degree angle. Heavy, isn't it?

Begin talking to the Lord about your burden--all your thoughts, your fears, the pain, the destroyed dreams. As you are praying, your arm is going to get awfully tired. Keep right on praying. Tell Him everything. Any of the thoughts that you have had--vomit it all out--if there is bitterness, anger, depression--all of it.

By now you're crying, and you can't separate the emotional pain from the physical pain you're experiencing because your arm is hurting so badly. Then, when you cannot hold your arm up another single second, say something like this: "Lord, You have commanded me to give my burdens to You. I can't handle this. It's too much for me. I can't hold onto it any longer. You must take it." Drop the rock, release the string, and watch that burden float up into the heavens--into the open, waiting arms of God.

Thank Him for telling you to give Him your burden--and for taking it. Look at your watch and record the time and date on your piece of paper. Write this: On (date/time), I gave my burden to the Lord. And He took it. (Print that last line.)

Look up into the sky and find that tiny speck. It's His--it is no longer yours. It's not in your hand. He told you to give it to Him, and you did. Now fold your paper and put it in your envelope (where is the balloon? catch one last glimpse of it). Seal it, and on the outside write "GOD" and then the date.

When you get home, get an index card and cut it into strips. On each strip write just the date. Put a strip over the sink, one in your bathroom medicine cabinet by your toothbrush, one on the dash of your car--anyplace where you can glance at it--and thank Him for taking your burden. (Close your eyes and visualize that speck in the sky again.)

Please know that I love you. I understand. Oh, not completely, but I long to help. I pray that this simple exercise will give you peace. Remember, your emotions are not the barometer of peace. KNOWING that He has taken your burden and will handle it with wisdom and loving tenderness is the key to peace. (Remember how that balloon went straight to Him when you released it?)

Think on these things.

Just as my child brings his broken toys
with tears
for me to mend,
I took my broken dreams to God
because He was my Friend.
But then . . . instead of leaving Him
in peace
to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help
with ways that were my own.
At last I snatched them back
and cried,
"How could You be so slow?"
"What could I do, My child?" He said.
"You never did let go."

Faith Mitchner

As I read on my daily readings (I’m a day behind so reading 2 of each reading plan to play catch up…), this was mentioned again and I wanted to share this with you.  Another way of looking at it, a way to help make sense out of the sometimes senselessness that envelopes us….

Trusting Him with My Burdens

God has told me to give Him my burdens, remember?

Cast your burden upon the Lord, and He will sustain you.

Psalm 55:22

I sincerely want to do this. I know He is much more capable than I am when it comes to handling life's problems. He's always present on the scene, able to choreograph circumstances to the best interest of the person for whom I am concerned. I know these things, but do I really trust Him to handle the burdens I give Him?

* * *

I had several sacks to give to the Salvation Army, so I called to ask them to come by, then placed the sacks on the front porch so they could pick them up whether I was home or not.

Thursday was pickup day. But I got my days mixed up and thought they were to come on Wednesday, and when they didn't show up I thought that they had forgotten me and my sacks. I'd go to the door . . . yep! sacks still there. It's raining. Go out and move the sacks. Night came. Will the sacks be safe? Then on Thursday they were late in coming, and so once again I assumed the responsibility for "watching over the sacks." Then they came! I watched them drive away with my sacks in their truck; they had changed hands and were not my burden any longer.

Now I didn't call them a single time to check on those sacks. I trusted them to handle the things I gave them to the best of their ability, and, since they do this kind of work all the time, to do their job well.

The question:

Have I done as much with the burden I have given to the Lord?

Is He capable?

Has it really been "picked up"?

What if it rains?

What will happen when night comes?

Do I trust Him as much as I trusted those men who picked up my sacks?

Oh, I do, Lord, I do! You came at my request. You picked up my burden, put it in Your truck, and drove off. Now I must trust You to work with what I gave to You; and since You do this kind of work all the time, I'm sure You will do it well.

An afterthought:

Leave it to the Lord to use sacks of unwanted
and outgrown clothing to remind me of just
what it means to throw my burdens on Him.

Under His Wings

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Lifetime Daily Devotions

The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord; He is their strength in time of trouble. And the Lord helps them, and delivers them; He delivers them from the wicked, and saves them, Because they take refuge in Him.
Psalm 37:39,40

If I want...

His salvationHis strength in time of troubleHis helpHis deliverance,
...then I must take refuge in Him. These things are found nowhere else but "under His wings"--in His presence.

Lord, I've never been surrounded by soft wings; I really don't know how that would feel. Maybe like your daddy's lap, or snuggling under the covers when it's awfully cold in the bedroom, or like a feather bed, or sitting in a dark car looking out at a rainstorm that has stopped the traffic.

I can imagine it, though . . . the warmth, the softness, the feeling of safety and security. Why, oh why, do I rush around outside in the angry elements, afraid and struggling, depending on my strength and my wisdom to protect me and mine? I remember You cried one time because people refused to come nestle, to let You take care of them.

Lord, lift Your wings . . .

I'm crawling under.

This is such an important verse that I also found it in my other reading I started today as well!

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Abuse

Abuse can happen in many forms. Physical, emotional and sexual are common expressions of abuse and many people just don't know how to handle it. If you are an abuser, stop it. If you are the victim of abuse, let the words of the Bible guide you as you decide how to handle the relationship with the abuser. If you're in danger, you need to get away immediately. If your abuse is not life threatening or is something in your past that you still struggle with, take some time to meditate on God's Word on this subject.

When we are going through hard times, when we’re going through the abuse, so often we feel totally alone….that’s something I felt while going through the abuse and what I hear from so many Survivors…..I thought I was alone!!!!

The truth is, we’re never fully alone!  We don’t have to go through the pain, the suffering, the anguish all by ourselves, God is there with us through it all.  Turn towards Him for comfort, for your strength, for your shelter from the storms, He is there for you! 

God Will Fight Our Battles For Us

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Life Application Study Bible ® Devotion

2 Chronicles 20:15 He said, “Listen, all you people of Judah and Jerusalem! Listen, King Jehoshaphat! This is what the LORD says: Do not be afraid! Don’t be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God’s.

We may not fight an enemy army, but every day we battle temptation, pressure, and Satan, who wants us to rebel against God. Remember, as believers, we have God's Spirit in us. If we ask for God's help when we face struggles, God will fight for us. And God always triumphs.

Christian Meditation: What Is It? What Does the Bible Say About It?

Philippians 4:8  Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy meditate on these things

Christian meditation dwells on what has already been revealed in creation or inspired revelation.  Whereas other forms of meditation are seeking some new truth to be revealed.  It is very important to not confuse the two.  The purpose of Christian Meditation is to nourish man with an understanding of God and His revealed will (not to seek for some unrevealed truth), and to give man spiritual joy and strength through such nourishment.  See Psalm 1:1-3 and Isaiah 40:28-31.  This same nourishment was what Jesus was talking about when tempted by Satan:  Matthew 4:4  But He answered and said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’ ”

We should reflect on God’s Word in a thoughtful way,  accept Its truths personally and apply them to our life.  Below are some examples or meditation in the Bible.  I have linked to each passage on Bible Gateway for ease of finding the passages.  I urge you to read passages for yourself, and see what they are saying to you.

• Isaac meditated in the field - Gen 24:63
• Joshua was told by God to meditate day and night - Joshua 1:8
• A blessed man is one who meditates day and night - Psalm 1:1-2
• David became wiser than his teachers through meditation - Psalm 119:99
• Paul commanded Timothy to meditation - 1 Timothy 4:15

This is just a brief start on learning what Christian Meditation is and Bible says about it.  Please refer to the wiki article Christian Meditation for more information and references.

Sample routine for meditation:

• Choose a place that is quiet and free from distractions
• Choose a time that will allow you to no feel rushed or be rushed
• Wear comfortable clothing
• Pray prior to your meditation, perhaps even read a passage from the Bible to help you focus for your meditation
• Do 6 to 8 rounds of Regular Breathing (breathe while counting to 6, hold the breath and count to 6, then breathe out while counting to 6).  (NOTE:  This breathing exercise is suggested to help you clear your mind of thoughts and to get focused.  Focus only on your breathing while doing this to start clearing your mind.)
• Relax your mind and focus all thoughts on Jesus
• Meditate for 10 to 15 minutes (this time can be increased or decreased based on personal preference)

When you are finished this would be a good time to do any stretching or other daily exercise that you do.  If you do not exercise this may be a good time for you to write your thoughts out, and if you do exercise then write your thoughts out immediately after you finish exercising.  These are just suggestions and each of us have to find what works for us.

Related articles

• Biblical Meditation (mightycraic.wordpress.com)

What Does God Want?

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Life Application Study Bible ® Devotion 

Deuteronomy 10:12-13 12 “And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God require of you? He requires only that you fear the LORD your God, and live in a way that pleases him, and love him and serve him with all your heart and soul.13 And you must always obey the LORD’s commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good.

Often we ask, "What does God expect from me?" Here Moses gives a summary that is simple in form and easy to remember. Here are the essentials: (1) Fear God; (2) Live in a way that pleases him; (3) Love him; (4) Serve him with all your heart and soul; and (5) Obey his commands. Too often we complicate faith with man-made rules, regulations, and requirements. Are you frustrated and burned out from trying hard to please God? Concentrate on his real requirements and find peace. Respect, follow, love, serve, and obey.

I feel that this simplifies it very nicely.  God wants us to do five things and if we go back to those basics we can’t go wrong.

A Prayer of Faith in Times of Distress

I use YouVersion for managing my daily Bible Study and Reading.  I just started the Life Application Study Bible ® Devotion  reading plan and thought the first reading would be helpful for others.  As I go through my reading plans (I have more than one going at a time) I will post here those that I feel have some meaning or that may be helpful to various things survivors of domestic violence may be experiencing.

Psalm 6:6 - I am worn out from sobbing.
All night I flood my bed with weeping,
drenching it with my tears.

Pouring out his heart with tears, David was completely honest with God. We can be honest with God even when we are filled with anger or despair because God knows us thoroughly and wants the very best for us. Anger may result in rash outward acts or turning inward toward depression. But because we trust in our all-powerful God, we don't have to be victims of circumstance or be weighted down by the guilt of sin. Be honest with God, and he will help you turn your attention from yourself to him and his mercy.

The above verse and additional notes from YouVersion tells us two main things; be honest with God and do not hold onto to our anger.  Turn our anger over to God.  Regardless of whether we are angry with ourselves or with others, turn it over to God, trust Him to help you deal with it.  After reading this I decided to go look further... what does the rest of this particular Psalm say? 

After reading all of Psalm 6 I thought it may make a good prayer in its entirety.  I’ve copied it below for quick reference when you may be feeling overwhelmed, angry beyond reason, depressed or distressed either physically, mentally (emotionally) or spiritually.

This prayer of faith to use in times of distress says several things to us.  It tells us to trust in God and be honest with Him about what our troubles are.  It tells us to turn our distresses over to Him and know that He will handle them.  It also gives us hope to go on, knowing that God has heard our plea and prayer and will help us in His loving way.

Psalm 6 - 1 O LORD, don’t rebuke me in your anger
or discipline me in your rage.2 Have compassion on me, LORD, for I am weak.  Heal me, LORD, for my bones are in agony.3 I am sick at heart.  How long, O LORD, until you restore me?4 Return, O LORD, and rescue me.  Save me because of your unfailing love.5 For the dead do not remember you.  Who can praise you from the grave?t6 I am worn out from sobbing.  All night I flood my bed with weeping, drenching it with my tears.7 My vision is blurred by grief; my eyes are worn out because of all my enemies.8 Go away, all you who do evil, for the LORD has heard my weeping.9 The LORD has heard my plea; the LORD will answer my prayer.10 May all my enemies be disgraced and terrified.  May they suddenly turn back in shame.

There are basically four things that David is saying in Psalm 6.  First he makes a petition for God’s mercy in time of distress, then he immediately praises God and states that praise comes from the living.  Then David describes his suffering and knowing that God has heard him he reprimands his enemies.

I welcome your comments!

What does the Bible say about Domestic Violence?

Scripture References Related to Abuse

Brian Tubbs
Mar 2, 2010
Did husbands beat their wives in the Bible? Domestic violence is not new. Domestic abuse was as real in Bible times as today. What does the Bible say about abuse?
Victims of domestic violence should know that the Bible contains clear, unmistakable declarations against any form of physical or verbal abuse. Those who seek to justify abuse by turning to the pages of the Bible are guilty not only of harming others, but also of distorting God's Word to suit their nefarious and deplorable actions.

Scripture References Related to Abuse

While some husbands undoubtedly beat their wives in Bible times as some husbands do today, it's generally believed that this was never God's plan or design for the home. On the contrary, the Bible repeatedly calls on people to show kindness, generosity, and love to one another, and specifically condemns the abuse of wives and children. Here are a few Scripture references related to abuse and the proper treatment that husbands, in particular, should extend to a wife:

• "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church." ~Ephesians 5:28-29, NKJV
• "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice." ~Ephesians 4:31, NKJV
• "Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them." ~Colossians 3:19, NIV
• "In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat her with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. If you don't treat her as you should, your prayers will not be heard." ~I Peter 3:7, NIV
• "The mouth of the righteous is a well of life, but violence covers the mouth of the wicked." ~Proverbs 10:11, NKJV
• "So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God." ~James 1:19-20, NKJV

The Bible also exhorts fathers not to provoke their children to wrath (Ephesians 6:4) and to see children as a blessing and "heritage" from the Lord (Psalm 127:3).
In several passages, the Bible also promises God's attention to the poor, needy, and oppressed (Psalm 22:24; Psalm 140:12; Psalm 103:6) and exhorts God's followers to support and help those suffering affliction (Isaiah 1:17; Hebrews 13:3).

What Should Victims of Abuse Do?

In the face of abuse, Christians believe that victims should seek help from God and from those capable of extending support and assistance. Some find prayer beneficial – prayers for wisdom, grace, and protection should be offered fervently and consistently. But don't stop at prayer.

When a spouse is faced with abuse, Christians believe that she (or he) should follow the general advice Paul gives in his letter to the church at Rome. In that epistle, Paul writes: "If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men" (Romans 12:18, NKJV).

Being a general principle, it is applicable to all situations, including the home. There comes a point when it's simply not possible to live at peace. When that point comes, the biblical principle of protecting oneself and others kicks in (Psalm 82:4; Proverbs 24:11; Nehemiah 4:12-14). As for how to implement that principle, victims of abuse should consult with the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) for advice on their particular situation.

Biblical Homes – No Abuse or Violence

Christians believe that God never sides with an abusive husband or father (or abusive wife or mother, for that matter). According to modern Christian beliefs, abuse is completely inconsistent with God's standard for the home. What does a biblical home look like?

Christian ideology holds that God's standard for a biblical home begins with marriage. According to God's design, marriage involves leaving the father and mother and joining together with one's spouse (Genesis 2:24). That marriage is to be a lifelong commitment, based on two people coming together in love and in the sight of God (Matthew 19:6; Mark 10:9).

Studies, in fact, have shown that marriage is statistically safer for women and children, when it comes to domestic violence. Of course, it's vital that spouses enter into a marriage relationship for the right reasons and with a healthy assessment of each other. A wife, for example, has the right to demand that her husband will love her unconditionally, treat her kindly and with respect, and value both her and any children that come into the marriage. This is indeed what the marital vows are all about and it's one reason why premarital counseling is important.

In the Christian school of thought, a truly biblical home, one where both spouses strive to act according to God's standard for marriage, there is unconditional love, mutual submission, sexual intimacy, kindness, mercy, and a lifelong commitment (Matthew 19:4-9; I Corinthians 7:2-5; I Corinthians 13; Ephesians 5; Colossians 3:18-21).

In such a marriage, the husband does not set himself up as a dictator, but rather as a servant, modeling Jesus Christ and commits to loving his wife as Jesus loved and gave himself for the church. In such a context, abuse and violence are clearly egregious sins. Not only does an abusive husband do great harm to the one he is to love and cherish, but he has plainly deviated from God's standard.

While many professing Christians tragically engage in verbal or physical abuse, Christians believe that this has never been God's design and that domestic violence has no place in a truly biblical home.

Read more at Suite101: What Does The Bible Say About Domestic Violence?: Scripture References Related to Abuse | Suite101.com http://www.suite101.com/content/what-does-the-bible-say-about-domestic-violence-a208402#ixzz1L7Eg5W56