Chronic

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Fostering Hope

9 The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.

Psalm 9:9

CHRONIC

In medicine, some health conditions never go away. They irritate and nag and keep you from functioning at full strength. They suck the energy out of you. Some life conditions do that too. She was 17, and counting the days until her birthday when she could be 'out on her own'. She was going to move in with a friend, she told me, and try to get a job, although she had only completed the 9th grade so far, and thought that being employed at a fast food restaurant was her best option. She answered my questions in a somewhat robotic, monotonous voice, and she seemed almost able to predict what the question was before I had asked it. Until I asked about her family. Then the robot vanished. Her voice shook, and her eyes filled with pain. Lots of it. First in foster care at age 2. Back and forth between the system and home until she was school-age. Parent's rights terminated. In several foster homes. Then adopted. Until it got hard. Then back into foster care. Now, almost on her own. But with no hope, no future, no life. Just pain. Chronic, long-standing pain. An aspirin won't fix that. Only one thing will - love. Massive, overwhelming, unconditional love. And she hasn't found that yet.

OMG how I know about chronic illness, and how much it just drains you!  I never saw a connection to that and how our life conditions can do the same, but thinking back, I can see it plainly…

I’ve met many woman that have not only gone through Domestic Violence but through child abuse as well, and the on going abuse throughout their life has just drained them so bad!  Not knowing anymore who to trust, or if to trust anyone anymore.  Not knowing if they can be loved for who they were, many times not knowing anymore themselves who they are anymore.  It not only just drains the life out of you, but drains who you are!

There is no quick fix for that.  There is no magic pill any doctor can prescribe that will make it go away.  Healing can happen though, again nothing quick, a lot of work involved and a lot of baby steps, but it can be done!  Finding a support system while healing is so crucial.  People around you that will be there through the good times and the bad.  Friends that will support you even in your lowest days.  Sometimes this is hard to find, and when all else fails, just remember that you can reach towards God for that unconditional love that you may not be able to find.   

When the going gets tough…

The tough need to turn to God

With the economy it’s only getting tougher out there.  Domestic Violence, Child Abuse, Rape, Violence, break ins, crime is on the rise.  So many are having it tough to just get through the week, much less be able to plan for the future at this point.  A future that can’t be set in stone for we don’t know what may close or downsize next.  The future is unpredictable, but one thing we can all count on is that God is there for everyone that turns to Him.

I’m not just saying this as a quick fix, I can look back at times of troubles that I’ve gone through both by myself, then as a single mother, then as a family, and it’s harder to go through these problems without Him by your side.  Being able to talk to Him, to share or give over your burdens, fears and stress; to lift these all up to Him to carry is such a peaceful blessing! 

I can think back to crying alone at night, with no one to turn too, no one to listen, no one that I felt would understand what I was going through.  Being alone, totally alone like that is one of the hardest things I had to go through.  Being able to turn to Him at any time and know that He is there for me, to know that He’ll give me the strength to overcome whatever I’m going through is such a blessing! 

It’s hard to hand it all to Him, to stop worrying, to stop stressing, to not look at the bills piling up and wondering how they are going to be paid, to look at your children and not worry and stress how you’re going to feed them.  These are all concerns that are very important, and lifting these all up to Him to bare may seem alien to so many.  To be able to give up these concerns and not try to control them but giving it to His control is so hard to do, but it can be done!  The result is such peace even during the storms that you are going to make it through, even when your mind is telling you it’s impossible, everything is possible with God on your side!

If you are going through tough times, know that you aren’t alone!  Not only are so many others going through tough times as well, but God is there for you.  Turn to Him, speak to Him, pray to Him, lift up your troubles to Him!  It’ll take a lot of faith and even practice to finally give it all over to Him without wanting to grab at least bits and pieces back for yourself to stress over, just know that it takes time to give over to Him full control of it all, but I can promise you the end result is so worth all the effort!

REDEMPTION

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Fostering Hope

9 But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light:10 Which in time past were not a people, but are now the people of God: which had not obtained mercy, but now have obtained mercy.

1 Peter 2:9-10

REDEMPTION

Through the thin walls, she could hear the screaming of her step-dad. Cursing. Crashing. Drunken rage being taken out yet again on her family. She wished she could disappear. Wanted to die. That seemed so much more peaceful a place. But not an option - not to her. Her eyes swept across the tiny bedroom, searching for something to relieve the pain. She reached for a nearby wooden pencil. Its eraser was long gone, and the bent metal end provided an avenue for the escape she was so desperate to find. The aluminum cut into her skin, etching the first letters of a message - HATE - onto her side. Tears from the pain of the cut mixed with tears from the pain in her heart and rolled down her cheeks. Then, her soul quieted, as her heavenly Papa gathered her into his arms and held her close. His voice, His truth flooded her mind, and spilled out onto the worn notebook lying beside her bed. 'I know you, I love you. I liberate you, I light your path. I provide you with friends and a way out when you are stuck. I'm your healer and your guide. You are valuable, you have a future. You are my precious daughter' The pencil, a tool Satan meant for evil, God used for good. The same pencil that started off destructive, making temporary imprints in her flesh, God used to carve a permanent note of redemption on her heart.

And yet, so many still state that children are not affected by Domestic Violence, oh how wrong they are.  How can a child that sees and hears the violence not be affected by it?  Just because them themselves don’t carry the physical bruising that the world can see?  Yet, they do carry the scars and bruises deep on the inside that are hidden, and that many of us know and understand can at times be harder to heal then the physical bruising.

I was a cutter as a teen, I can understand cutting and why someone would turn to it.  It’s a release, it’s a visual that you are indeed hurt and bleeding and that the hurt you are feeling is warranted (ever heard the saying “You’re ok, you’re not bleeding”?).  So many try to make cutting into such a worse light, for so many cutters it’s them trying to make sense out of the emotions and hurt they are feeling, it’s their expressing that hurt in a way that isn’t healthy.  Thankfully I stopped cutting long ago, but I know adults that still do it, and I pray that they and others that cut find peace and another outlet for their pain and head towards healing.  Like any addiction, cutting can be hard to stop, but it can be done!  Turn towards God for strength and healing, turn towards those that lift you up and don’t put you down, turn towards a healthy, happy life and those cuts will heal…

YOU CAN FLY

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Fostering Hope

58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.

1 Corinthians 15:58

YOU CAN FLY
I love to fly. I always choose a window seat right over the wing, near the jets so I can best hear the roar of the engines and watch the wing shape change as we take off and land. But I always find myself doubting that it will even work, that the plane can even get off the ground. There is too much weight. People. Baggage. And it starts too slowly - those first few feet of movement are painfully slow. But the thing about a plane is, it was made to fly. It was shaped in a specific way, and it was equipped with engines that are capable of producing tremendous thrust, if they are fueled properly. Once it gets in the air, it seems like it could stay there forever with very little effort. Foster kids come weighed down too. With lots of baggage. I was molested, so now I don't trust men. Or I use my body to get what I want. I was physically abused, and now I believe I am to blame for whatever I get, so I move from abusive relationship to abusive relationship. My emotional needs weren't met, so now I suck the life out of others, desperately trying to fill up my own soul.

It is easy to believe that a kid carrying that kind of weight won't be able to get off the ground. But the truth is, they, like all humans, were made to fly. Born for it. But they need fuel. They need us to provide the thing that powers them. Encouragement. Expectation. Opportunity. Love. Hope. Without it, they are grounded. With it, if they can get off the ground, they might just fly forever. Are you willing to fuel someone's hopes and dreams? Willing to mentor? To tutor? To help a kid dream then help them achieve that dream? Are you willing to help someone fly?

I LOVE this reading plan! 

I love how the writer put this, and even though this is dealing with children, the same thing can be said for the adult survivors of all types of abuse.  Our wings get clipped and we don’t know that we can even fly much less remember how after going through hell.  We all need help to find our feet again and to become steady once again, to find ourselves and learn who we are once again before we can even think about learning how to spread our wings and fly.  It takes time, but healing is possible, flying is possible! 

I shared this even though this is more of a message to Advocates and those healed enough to help others, because it also puts to mind that advocates are needed!  It’s so hard to get through healing from abuse alone, quite frankly it sucks having too, and I truly feel that Survivors really need to reach out and help those that are going through what they went through now.  Those of us that have been through the abuse know and understand the full picture and can be of such a help to those that are out there now struggling through it!  So, if you are a healed Survivor, and you are willing and able to reach out to your brother and sister survivors, please do so!  If you don’t know how, contact us!  We’ll help steer you in the right direction.

For the Survivors out there still struggling through your personal hell, know that there IS hope and that you CAN heal and that you are NOT alone!  So many have gone through the abuse and have healed, you can too!  Hang in there, reach out, and know that someday you will heal and you will Fly again!

Healing Touch

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Fostering Hope

33 But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him,34 And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.

Luke 10:33-34

HEALING TOUCH
People go the doctor to be healed. To get relief from their pain. But I don't always know how to heal. Don't always know what to say or what to do. She was 14, with thick auburn hair that fell in unruly layers around her face. She was beautiful, but rough. Even in her short years she had experienced her share of hardship, and it showed, in the stiffness of her posture and the edge in her voice. I found out that she was in 8th grade, and liked math but didn't want anyone to think she was a nerd. She had a brother but didn't get to see him much. She was not a stranger to foster care - had slept in other people's homes off and on for as long as she could remember. Said she'd learned how to fold towels 'correctly' 10 different ways.

As she talked, she waved her arms and I saw them. Words carved across her knuckles. Others over the back of her hands and up her forearms. HATE. WORTHLESS. CRAZY. Scabbed. Fresh. Evidence of pain that extended much deeper than the wounds that marked her skin. She seemed surprised when I touched her arms, gently massaging antibiotic ointment into each line, grieving with each stroke. How do I fix that kind of pain? How do I speak life to someone who has only known death? I don't always know how to heal. But I do know how to touch, how to provide the most basic of human contact. So do you. Are you willing?

I know I had some trouble figuring out how to blog onto this blog, I don’t know bible passages by heart, I don’t feel that I speak like I guess I thought someone should that is doing this, and then I realized…God gave me the gifts He did for a reason and all I had to do was share myself here…what a revelation!  So often we don’t know how to help, don’t know how to help someone heal, just don’t know what to do.  Sometimes it’s that smallest action though that truly can make a difference!  So often it’s not in the saying but in the doing and the actions that come out of it.

I used to cut, I know how deep pain can go, I know how it is to put a mask on so that the outside world would think you’re just fine while you are dying inside.  Reach out to your friends, to your Pastor, your teacher, your whoever!  Even if you can’t tell them you are hurting or in pain, spend time with them, the likely hood is they already know but don’t know how to help…

THE OVERCOMER

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Fostering Hope

2 He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.

Psalm 40:2

The lady looked older than me, but it turned out she was a couple years younger. She had 6 kids - the first was born when she was only a kid herself. They had been in foster care for several years. But were now back with her, and soon DHS would sign off on her as a mom. At that point in the conversation, perhaps a normal person with manners and social grace would have just stopped - congratulated her and bowed out of the conversation. But I couldn't help myself. I was compelled to know the whole story - to know HER. She had been on drugs - first painkillers, then marijuana, then meth. The guys she hung out with were mean, but they supplied her drug habit.

Eventually it caught up with her, and the kids were picked up. She was devastated, but she was also addicted. For two more years she was unsuccessful in her struggle against it. Then she began to break free. She went through rehab - ALL the way through. Then a half-way house. Then outpatient counseling. Then she found a job. Then she got an apartment. Then she got her kids back. What? How did that happen? These stories don't usually have a happy ending. What was the key? My parents believed in me. My friend believed in me. My counselor believed in me. My new boss believed in me. 'You are an overcomer!' I said. Her eyes met mine, and she smiled.

When we begin to see people for who they were created to be, instead of who they are on the surface, it is easier to believe in them. And when WE believe in them, it is easier for them to begin to believe in themselves. I want to believe in people. In their potential. In the possibilities of their lives. In the awareness that a bad decision is not the same thing as a bad person. In the knowledge that we all make mistakes and none of us is perfect. In the hope that the future can be different than the past.

 

How often have we been told that we can’t do things, only for that to be proven true?  Looking back I know that many of the things I wanted to do I stopped doing because I was told I can’t, it’s impossible, that wouldn’t work.  How often has this stopped you from doing what you dream of doing?  Have you continued to let it stop you?

Believe in yourself when no one else does, believe that you can achieve the impossible, believe that you can get to where you want to go and overcome the obstacles along the way.  Believe in yourself when no one else is around, and along the way you’ll meet up with others that will believe in you as well.  Turn a deaf ear to those that put you down, that don’t believe in you, what they say doesn’t matter, show them that you are an overcomer and that you will obtain your dreams!

In Troubled Times…

From YouVersion Reading Plan: 60 to Start

24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.25 Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?26 Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?27 Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?28 And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:29 And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

This is from a reading plan I started just a few days ago, and while reading this portion of the plan I was lead to share with you…

Like so many others my family is going through a time of rough waters…a loss of a job has lead it to be very tight here, and there have been times we have been tempted to worry as bills pile up, rent goes unpaid, and we didn’t have a vehicle to even start fixing the issues of man. 

It’s times like these that we are so tempted to worry, to cry out, to stress and become short tempered with one another, yet we know we’ve gone through worse and God got us through those times, so do we trust that He will see us through this as well.  God knows what we need, and many times we may not have what we want, but He does provide what is needed.  I know at the time it doesn’t seem like it, but looking back I know that during many of the times of turmoil we gained something so much more then the money we needed to pay our bills or get something we needed.  It is well known and viewed that in times of trouble many of us lean closer to Him, because when the times are good so many feel that they have less need of Him, which is so untrue!  But such is the way of man…

Going through the rough times are hard, I can’t say it isn’t, but knowing that no matter what happens if we can put our trust in Him, share with him our burdens and lean on Him, we will be lead out of those times into more gentle waters.  I know we get impatient, we of course want out now, but I also know that during the times of troubles things can be revealed to us that we may not have looked for in times of joy. 

So if you’re going through times of trouble at the time you are reading this, know that He is there with you, that He knows your needs and trust in Him to open the needed doors for you to get you through.  Give Him time, for He works in His time not ours, and so often if we just trust in Him and let Him lead us instead of us plowing ahead, greater things will happen then what we ever could have done ourselves.