Getting Married - The Feelings of a Domestic Violence Survivor

I sit here, racing through my mind are all of the things I have to do before Saturday when I get married...

I'm excited to get married to my fiance, along with that though are so many thoughts about finally getting to the day when I can shed of yet more of my abused past...I finally get to get rid of the last name of my past abuser that has reminded me often of that time!  I will no longer be that victim, that wife, that ex-wife...I will no longer be connected through name with my abuser!

This in itself is not understandable fully to those that have not been through Domestic Violence...yet I know that there are many out there that have who will understand the euphoria that I feel at this time!  And the introspective thoughts and feelings that I'm feeling at this time as well...

I could have changed my name at any time to my maiden name...yet that again is someone of the past that I did not want to take on again.  It feels like chapters of my life finally being closed!

Purple is the main color of our wedding...not only is it my favorite color but it also is there in honor of the color of Domestic Violence Awareness.   Butterflies and crosses are our theme...symbolizing not only the resurrection of Jesus,  but also the resurrection that He has brought to us through His selfless gift of His life and death and resurrection.

The butterfly...the cocoon...the metamorphosis into the butterfly each one of us can be!  There's been times that I feel I've become that butterfly, yet there's been many times I feel that I'm still in that cocoon, transforming, being molded into the butterfly that has yet to emerge.  Getting married, that, I feel, is yet another transformation within that cocoon and I can't wait to emerge soon into that butterfly!  Ooohhh, so much that I would love to accomplish!

I can't wait until Saturday...I have decided to make all of our items for the tables and for our friends and family that will come to support us.  While making these items, I have plans on using them again after the wedding towards DV Awareness.  DV Awareness, I feel, doesn't have to be all about the pain and the suffering that many of us go through while being abused, but also about the fact that it can be overcome!!!  The cycle can be stopped!!!  Us "Survivors" can have happiness again!!!

I plan on giving a speech at our reception...please pray that I can get through it!  I HATE talking in public! LOL  I want to share with them these feelings and more...I want them to understand why this day is not only important for me as a "Survivor", but also for my fiance as a past addict!  Oh the road we have traveled to get to this day!  Talk about Amazing Grace!!!  It is only by the Grace of God that we are making it to this day!

Sisters, don't give up!!!  If any of you are sitting there reading this and you have not come to a place of living again, know that you too can make it!  If I can, anyone can!!!  We aren't supposed to live with inglings of the past, and through time, as if in a cocoon being transformed, you too will have parts of your life better left behind shed from you!

For those of you that are Advocates or supporting someone that is going through or has been through Domestic Violence, Support is soooo important!  None of us have all the answers...None of us can take that mantel from the victim to transform them into the butterfly we all know they can be...Yet all of us can Support those going through their transformation to become that butterfly they are yet to be!  It can take years...it can be nerve racking...believe me, I've met other "Survivors" and one thing we all hold on to dearly is independence.  This sometimes hurts us more than helps us, yet, every one of us truly appreciate the Support of a patient friend who doesn't give up to us and loves us no matter what mistakes we may make.

I just wanted to share some of these feelings with you...and pray that it reaches someone that needs to read this.  I know I'm not the first to remarry after abuse, and I have to wonder how they felt through this time?  Did they tear up when they think/feel the euphoria of the transformation?  If you have gone through this time please, share your feelings!  It is soooo important that we share our triumphs and not always the bad!

God Bless & Keep You Safe!  Thank You for supporting me through the years...you also play a part in my Transformation!

~Angel Hugz~
Tracy

Beauty for Ashes...Freedom from Shame

At church today, we had a wonderful guest speaker, Ruth Puleo, who gave such a wonderful message that I have to share it with you today.  After the service, I asked Ruth Puleo if she would talk with DV Survivors if I could get a group together, and of course she said she would.

Her message was a message of freedom from the shame of abuse, from sin, from everything that the devil has fed to you to keep you down.  That God has soooo much more in store from each and every one of us, and that too often we are kept from what God has in plans for us because we are kept back because of shame that we feel.

She shared a story of a family with 14 children who's father/husband was a violent drunk.  He would drink and beat his wife and children, and run after them with a hatchet telling them that he was going to kill them.  The wife called her Minister, Ruth Puleo's father, to come because she believed he was going to kill her and her children that night in a drunken rage.  The Minister went, and prayed over the man and rebuked his wicked ways, and the man would hear none of it.  He stated that he didn't have to stay and listen to any of this, and he walked out of the house in a huff.

He walked down the walkway out the front door with the Pastor and wife watching him, and he stopped dead at the end of the walkway and stopped, and turned, ashen, and walked back towards the house fully sober.  He asked them who had put the man in the white suite and the sword at there in the driveway?

After this, he turned his life to God and became a board member at his church and did many good things in the name of the Lord and abused no more.  He had been Scared Saved!!!

How many of us have, or have had, abusers that need this awakening??  

Without knowing, Ruth Puleo confirmed what we were taught in Sunday School today.  We are going through John Bevere's "Good or God", and he was sharing how we don't have as much as God wants us to have because we don't ask...that He has so much in store for us, so much planned for us, yet we don't reach our God given potential because we listen to the world, not Him!

God takes what we can't do...

Luke 13:10 - 13

10And he was teaching in one of the synagogues on the sabbath.

11And, behold, there was a woman which had a spirit of infirmity eighteen years, and was bowed together, and could in no wise lift up herself.

12And when Jesus saw her, he called her to him, and said unto her, Woman, thou art loosed from thine infirmity.

13And he laid his hands on her: and immediately she was made straight, and glorified God.

This, if Jesus can do this for the woman that was inflicted with an infirmity, what will He do for you if you'd only reach out to Him?

Ruth Puleo also shared Acts 14:8-11

8In Lystra there sat a man who was lame. He had been that way from birth and had never walked.
9He listened to Paul as he was speaking. Paul looked directly at him, saw that he had faith to be heal

10and called out, "Stand up on your feet!" At that, the man jumped up and began to walk. 11When the crowd saw what Paul had done, they shouted in the Lycaonian language, "The gods have come down to us in human form!" What this brought to my mind is that we have Jesus inside of us...we are charged to not only go out and spread the Good News, but also heal!!! Then He called His twelve disciples together and gave them power and authority over all demons, and to cure diseases. He sent them to preach the kingdom of God and to heal the sick. (Luke 9:1-2) The Lord Jesus Christ has given you All authority and power on this earth in His name!  John 14:13 states, "And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. "If you ask anything in My name, I will do it."  Many Christians are waiting endlessly for the Lord Jesus Christ to move on their behalf.  He already did two thousand years ago on the Cross, when He paid the price in full with His precious blood for you.  He gave you all His power and authority to be released on this earth in His name.  And if that is not enough He gave you access to the Father God Almighty's power through the name of Jesus! And in that day you will ask Me nothing. Most assuredly, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in My name He will give you. Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full. (John 16:23-24)

This means that those of us that have gone through Domestic Violence, and have received true and total healing from God, need to share it and heal others that haven't received it yet!!  OMG, the healing that comes from Him is so awesome and frees you so that you can do His work that He has set you to do, whatever that is!

Ruth Puleo's message was the facts that Jesus saved us from the shame of failure in the Garden of Gethsemane...the shame of abuse with the Crown of Thorns He wore for us...the infirmity and weakness in us with the Whipping Post he endured...and the shame of sin when He hung on the Cross...

We ARE FREED!!!!  The shame doesn't belong to us that have been abused!!  Let the abuser carry that until they themselves are healed, it IS NOT OURS TO BEAR!!!  Jesus bore it already for us!

We are kept from what we can become, what God has planned for us, because we listen to that shame that has been wrongfully put on us!  We CANNOT live in shame of our abuse!  LET IT GO!!  Instead, use what we have gone through for the Good of God, and help those that are coming out heal as well!  Guide them!  Show them!  So many don't know that they can be totally transformed through the healing of Jesus Christ...transformed from that caterpillar in the cocoon into that butterfly!  Let's show them!!!

~Angel Hugz~
Tracy

When You Think You Can't Handle It

"When you think you can't handle it, God's already got a plan for it!"

I heard this on K-Love this morning, and I didn't want to forget it and I didn't want to keep it to myself, so I'm sharing it with you!  Maybe someone else needs to hear it this am, I know I did!

I hope ya'll have a Blessed Day!!

God Bless!
Tracy

I Sit Here in Awe of Our God....

I sit here, feeling, praying, in total awe and wonder of all that God does

Just the feeling of complete peace that He has brought to my life...through all the trials and tribulations...both past and present...NOTHING is too big for God!  There is NOTHING he can't handle!

Isaiah 40:31

"but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

So often I feel so tired...tired of dealing with the world...tired of feeling ill...tired of just being tired!  I fight against it...fight to do what I feel is wanted/needed of me...and I've found that it is not even my fight!  He has already fought all of this for me, for us!

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest in me. 10 That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Lately I've really been feeling the Glory of God stronger and stronger, and feeling that I'm finally seeing more of what God has in store for me...for my family...for what He wants of us and how he wants us to live.  The peace of this is unbelievable!  He is guiding me, guiding us, and bringing so many things into our lives for this, His Purpose!

I can't do this in my own strength!  More and more I'm seeing that all I need to do is sit back and watch His wonders working in my life and enjoy the ride!

From being a Victim of Domestic Violence, to being a healed Overcomer of Domestic Violence is nothing short of a Miracle brought about by our Lord!  There is no way to be fully healed without Him in your life!  He is the Redeemer!  He is the Healer!  He is the one that will deliver us from all of our trials and tribulations!

You are NOT what you have been through!!!  You are NOT a label!  YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD!!!  There is NOTHING that comes BEFORE or AFTER this!!!  HE IS THE BEGINNING AND THE END, not only of the earth, but of us as well!  For He is in every one of us!!!!  We ARE HIS!!!  And He holds us within His hands....God's Got This!!!

Ecclesiastes 3:11 NIV

11 He has made everything beautiful in its time.  He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

This is not something that I even understood fully a year ago...a few months ago...it is something that I learn and grow with Him every day!

My prayer for everyone out there is that they feel the Healing Love of our Lord Jesus Christ, and that they receive the Peace in their lives and the healing touch that only He can provide...

~Angel Hugz~
Tracy

Meaningful Message from For King & Country…

Last night my family and I went to the Delaware State Fair and had the privilege to go to the concert of For King & Country and Casting Crowns with some wonderful friends from church along with our Pastor and his family.

For those of you that have seen either of these groups in concert I don’t have to tell you that they are AWESOME!!!  For those that haven’t, you have got to go and see them!  They are worth your time and definitely worth the ticket price, and great for your family and group to attend!  The groups give you such an uplifting it’s incredible!

To give them praise, although they truly deserve it, isn’t why I wanted to write tonight.  I wanted to share something that Joel from For King and Country said that truly touched me and really has much to do with what Le Chrysalis is all about.

I wish I could quote word for word, and if anyone has a video of him speaking these words please please please share!!!!  I’ll do my best to share from my poor excuse of what I call my memory…

When Getting Into Any Form of Relationship… 1 Corinthians 13:4-6 First!

I started this about oh…two weeks ago?  Sigh…unfortunately life got in the way and this was thought of of course when I couldn’t finish it…so finally have the chance to do so!!  I still feel this is worth sharing and worth telling, and feel that maybe the wait was needed because now I have more to share then I would have the night I was writing this…

Riding home from a school concert tonight K-Love caught my attention with something they were talking about…Kelly was talking about how we too quickly let people into our hearts, mostly those of us who happen to be single and looking for someone to fill that void.

How even when we aren’t looking for a boyfriend, but when talking about friends, how we too quickly let people into our inner circles, into our hearts.

How true this is!!! 

Kelly then shared a conversation between a Mother and a daughter that was applicable to this, and really brought this issue into perspective…I want to share this here because this really is something we could all use in our lives!:

 

1 Corinthians 13:4-6

Do you feel an Abuser can Truly be a Christian?

Let’s be real here, we have Christians that are abusers within our churches and within our communities. This is nothing new, yet it seems that it’s yet another topic that so many don’t want to talk about. We have abusive Fathers, Mothers, Husbands, and Wives wearing the “Mask of Christianity”. We have ministers that are abusing and even killing their wives. We have Pastors who abuse their wives and children; we have Priests that molest young boys…

This isn’t anything new! This is a societal issue; we have abusers in all facets of society! There are abusers who are doctors, lawyers, political officials, police officers, judges, clerks, waiters, waitresses, trash truck drivers…so why is it such a surprise we have them as Christians as well? 1 in 4 (this is what the common statistic states as of today, although I truly believe it’s more like 1 in 3) women are affected by abuse, and this doesn’t even touch the men that are abused (1 in 7) as well! How many people sit in your church every Sunday? How many do you see shopping at Walmart, in the mall, or on the roads daily? How many are abuse victims? More importantly, how many are abusers?

Colossians 3:19

19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Forgiving Our Abusers

This is such a touchy subject, and something that is so hard to do…

Last week I was speaking to a friend of mine and she was asking about some of my past…she is not a survivor of abuse yet works for abused children so understands to an extent what abuse is like.  She was surprised that I have been able to forgive my abusers like I have, and that really got me thinking…

So many of us really struggle with forgiving our abusers, I know I did!  Let me tell you, it wasn’t something I did over night, and honestly, the end result I don’t even think I did myself…

Matthew 6:14 (NKJV)

14“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Thinking Back…

I've been thinking back a lot to my past abuse. Not dwelling on the abuse itself or getting upset by it at all…just thinking back and looking at my situation and realizing some key facts about my abuse in the early 90's with my husband and my abuse later in the 90's with my boyfriend…

We as Christians need to step out & help support in the healing...

1 in 3 women experience DV in their life...1 in 3...how many women sit in your sanctuary on Sunday morning?  How many women do you incounter every day?

Just because church is full of Christians...it doesn't mean that the have been able to escape being touched by DV.  In my church I can think of a few women who have gone through DV, & can think of one who's Mother was killed by his Father, & a few others that grew up in DV & abuse, & yet another who is going through a DV situation right now...& do you know that the ones I talked to about it didn't even know it was DV Awareness Month?

As I stated on the LC Blog, DV feeds off isolation & the lack of information.  The lack of support...the lack of understanding...our society the way it is set up is perfect for DV to breed...is perfect for Satan's playground...

As Christians we have a duty to reach out to those who are hurting...who are in pain...who need help.  Isn't that who Jesus went out & sought everywhere He went?  Not only those that needed physical healing, but those who were hurting from within! 

How many survivors are being blocked from truly understanding the full Love of Our Father?  How many are struggling, even as Christians, that they are alone?  How many out there could use someone to reach out to them & let them know that not only are you there for them, but that God is ALWAYS with them & they are NEVER alone in their pain?

1 in 3

Is your church reaching out to these during this Month...during DV Awareness Month?  If so, let us know how!  If not, why not?  Why are we as Christians allowing Satan to win this battle?  Why are we as Christians allowing those affected by DV to continue to suffer alone? 

I as a Christian Survivor of DV will not let it continue to be so in my Church...in my life.  Are you willing to do the same?

Stepping out in Faith…

I’ve found myself struggling with what to post on this blog…I know that this blog is needed, that so many survivors struggle with their beliefs, so many struggle through their healing…

We started this blog so that we can share what we’ve been through, what we’ve learned, in hopes that it would help someone else that may be struggling through by themselves…yet have found myself struggling as to what to post, how to post, yada yada yada…

So, I’ve come to the realization that I’m just going to post what God brings to mind for me to do so!  I’m taking me out the the equation, I’m just holding myself back at this point.  I’m going to let God work through me and share the messages that need to be shared…

I’ve been struggling with the thoughts of I’m not qualified, I don’t have credentials or credits or classes or whatever in order to do anything worth it to anyone…but I’m finally realizing that I was wrong!  God picks us and guides us to do what He wants us to do!  He picks those that are perfect for the job, he doesn’t just pick out of the elite, the professionals, he picks those that have something inside them that is needed for the message to be delivered.  He picked fishermen to become apostles, why wouldn’t he pick me to carry His word to those healing from DV??

So, I’m putting me behind myself, I’m stepping out and will be sharing what I feel lead to share without worrying about who may say what.  This is what I feel God is demanding of me, and this is what I will do…I will step out in faith in hopes that what I share will touch someone and help them through their healing…

My Hope is in God…

Grabbed off FB: Women of Christian Faith

The Lord has made known to me the path of life;he fills me with the joy of his presence, with eternal pleasures at his right hand. (Psalm 16:11)

When my soul is feeling down, I do not rely on my feelings. I remember my hope is in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. (Psalm 42:5-6)

Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. ~Colo 3:2

Words that describe the Devil

There is a reason for sharing this…

About a month back I went to a women’s conference where she shared different words from the Bible that described the Devil, and it really dawned on me…those words can also describe an Abuser!  Read through and let me know what you think!

Father of Lies, Son of the Morning, Deceiver, Miserable

Genesis 3 (Revelation 12:9), the Serpent
Matthew 4, the Temper
John 8:44, a murderer from the beginning and the father of all lies
John 10:10, a thief
John 12:31-32 (2 Corinthians 4:4), the ruler/god of this world/age
Ephesians 2:1-2, the prince of the power of the air
Ephesians 6:16, the wicked one
1 Peter 5:8, a roaring lion
1 John 3:8, a sinner from the beginning
Revelation 9:11, Abaddon (destruction) and Apollyon (destroyer)
Revelation 12:9, the great dragon and deceiver of the world

Satan is the source of the knowledge of good and evil which is defined by law, the creator of sin, sinner, crime, criminal, and therefore, evil. Law, which is our source of the knowledge of good and evil, is a restriction of the freedom God granted all life forms, and is the creator of rule, power, and authority which are defined as the enemies of God at 1st Corinthians 15:24-25.

Revelations 12: 9 And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.

Added “Empowering Christian Women” to our Helpful Sites List!

I’m actually pretty excited about this!  I’m always on the hunt for great sites and resources for Christian Women, and I’m so excited to have found this one this morning and just had to link it up immediately and share it with you!

Empowering Christian Women is a blog that has been going 5 years strong, has a lot of great articles that I can’t wait to dig into (read a few, and I’m hooked!), free kindle books listed (definitely going to be downloading a few of those), and a lot of great information!

I really feel this will be a great resource for Christian Women who have gone through Domestic Violence and Abuse, and I hope that you are blessed with what they have to offer!

God Centered Actions

A thought I’d like to share with all of you from my Bible reading this morning.  I’m still working through the Life Application Study Bible ® Devotion on YouVersion.  This was today’s reading:

Matthew 6:3-4  ³ But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:⁴ That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.

It's easier to do what's right when we gain recognition and praise. To be sure our motives are not selfish, we should do our good deeds quietly or in secret, with no thought of reward. Jesus says we should check our motives in three areas: generosity (Matt 6:4), prayer (Matt 6:6), and fasting (Matt 6:18). Those acts should not be self-centered, but God-centered, done not to make us look good but to make God look good. The reward God promises is not material, and it is never given to those who seek it. Doing something only for ourselves is not a loving sacrifice. With your next good deed, ask, "Would I still do this if no one would ever know I did it?"

That is a good question to end on, something to think about and take into prayer for the day.

The Eagle’s Flight

I really needed to read this today…  Isn’t it amazing that there’s times when we really need to hear something, and there it is, supplied for us?  I’ve fallen behind on my daily readings, been sick and tired of being sick and tired, and just have been downright lagging behind on everything.  Reading this builds me up, shows me that it’s ok, that He’s there to give me the strength that I need that I don’t have within myself.  How often have we lagged behind?  How often have we been through circumstances that we just don’t have the strength to get through by ourselves?  Reach out, know that He is willing and able to give you that strength when you are in need!

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Lifetime Daily Devotions

28 Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening? God doesn't come and go. God lasts. He's Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out.29 He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts.30 For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall.31 But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind.

Isaiah 40:28-31

The Eagle's Flight

Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Everlasting God, the Lord,
The Creator of the ends of the earth
Does not become weary or tired.
His understanding is inscrutable.
He gives strength to the weary,
And to him who lacks might He increases power.
Though youths grow weary and tired,
And vigorous young men stumble badly,
Yet those who wait for the Lord
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.
Isaiah 40:28-31

Do you not know?

Haven't you learned this yet? I have tried so many ways to teach you the simple truth of resting in My strength. You are too strong to need Me. As long as your strength endures, you will clutch it to your breast. No. You do not know yet.

Have you not heard?

It cannot be that you have never heard this. Perhaps you've never been ready to receive it, but surely you have heard?

The Everlasting God, The Lord,

The Creator of the ends of the earth,

Does not become weary or tired.

The Lord, our Lord Jesus Christ, the One who created everything in the heavens and the earth, isn't like you or me. He doesn't get tired. He doesn't know what it is to be weary! Too often we make God out to be like us. Temperamental. Impatient. Difficult. Pressured.

No. We mustn't make God like us. We are like God--and are becoming more and more like Him as He works within us.

His understanding is inscrutable.

We can't begin to comprehend--even slightly-- how deep His understanding is of each of us and everything that concerns us. I need that: understanding. Understanding that doesn't scold or condemn. Understanding that doesn't preach to me. Understanding that listens and tries to see things from my point of view. Understanding that speaks softly.

He gives strength to the weary,

He watches carefully, and when He sees us getting weary, He supplies more strength. It's kind of like watering your plants. You watch them carefully, and at the slightest droop you give them a drink. He sees our slightest droop.

And to him who lacks might He increases power.

He is always ready to empower us. He waits to be asked, but His power is always available to us.

Though youths grow weary and tired,

You know how kids seem to have an unlimited source of energy? Well, even if one of them should falter, He is there with His boundless, infinite power.

And vigorous young men stumble badly,

Even if a trained athlete or a very strong young man should stumble or trip badly, He's right there, ready to lift him up and infuse new energy into him. I'm not young and I'm not an athlete, but there's a wide variety of folks in between those two . . . where I fit.

Yet . . .

I love God's conjunctions. He always gives us a way out or some unexpected hope.

Those who wait for the Lord

There's the word: wait. How hard that is to do! We know deep within that He will sustain us. We know that His wisdom is far beyond ours. We know that His love for us is the motivator and the restrainer in our lives. But even knowing all of that, "waiting" for Him is something that most of us can't--or refuse to--actually do.

Will gain new strength,
Will mount up with wings like eagles,
Will run and not get tired,
Will walk and not get weary.

* * *

Lord,

Not only do I want all of these things, I need all of these things. An endless supply of strength, and not just shoring up the old strength that wears thin. New strength! And like an eagle. . . .

Did you know that eagles don't fly in flocks, like other birds do? They fly alone. And they can fly 6000 feet above the surface of the earth. Imagine! An eagle soaring in the upper air doesn't have to worry about tunneling through mountains, or fording swollen rivers, or losing his sense of direction and getting lost in the dense forests.

Me? Like an eagle? How wonderful! Soaring in the upper air all by myself, looking down on the scary things but not fretting about them. That could be me. . . . And Lord, to keep on--day after day after day--and not give out, whether it's a hectic "running" day or a "walking" busy day. You sustain me.

As usual, Lord, I realize that the choice is mine.

Would You teach me, please?

Teach me to wait?

Does It Really Work?

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Lifetime Daily Devotions

7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

1 Peter 5:7

Does It Really Work?

This is a comment from someone who was hurting intensely--in a different way than you are hurting, perhaps. These are the results as she carried through on 1 Peter 5:7. She read it. She believed it. She acted on it.

Dear Anabel

Yesterday's note about tying up the package was just great, Anabel. I thought of every concern and fear about the disastrous situation I was in; what the consequences might be, both positive and negative; the kids, me, my husband; the years behind and the tragic events of those years, the uncertainty of the years ahead . . . so many dreams, so many hopes, so many unknowns.

I boxed it all up (in my mind), put everything in, wrapped it, and tied it securely. Then I actually drove down to the beach. I met Jesus in a very secluded spot, gave it all to Him, and He walked off with it.

I remind myself that He has it and I am not to fret about it. When I do get uptight, I close my eyes and I see again the picture of Jesus walking away from me with that wrapped package under His arm. Relief springs up from within and I find myself rejoicing . . . way down deep.

HE WILL BE AS REAL TO ME AS I

ALLOW HIM TO BE.

 

I love this way of looking at it!!  I’ve shared before how I’ve given all my baggage to God because He has much broader shoulders then I do and can carry so much more, but I really love how this visual can make doing so so much easier! 

It’s hard to give up all your problems to Him, we always want to hold onto it and stress, fret, and worry about those things that we so want to give to Him, but are so used to worrying about ourselves.  Don’t worry if you do this at first!  We all do! lol  It takes practice to be able to let that all go and come to peace with your situation.

Spiritual Growth

I’m going through a course called “Soul Care” from Christian Courses and today I came to a lesson where the discussion afterwards was about “An ongoing controversy in Christian circles centers on whether a look at the realities below the waterline is really necessary for true spiritual growth.”  Thankfully I was within the group that was to argue the point that you do indeed have to look below the waterline.  I feel compelled to share this here…

While working on this I had to get a turkey in for dinner, and God shared with me an analogy that I am still sitting and laughing about, thanking Him for the insight and comic relief...

You wouldn't bake a turkey without knowing what's in it first would you?  When you get a turkey from the store, they place the bags of the "extras" within the cavity of the turkey, both front and back you may say.  These need to be dealt with and taken out of the turkey before cooking it or quite frankly, the turkey just won't taste so good now would it?  You wouldn't want to present this turkey at a Thanksgiving feast after having cooked it with these "extras" still included would you?  You take the extras out; they are not wanted when cooking a turkey!  Not only that, but what if that turkey is still frozen, doesn't it take longer to cook?  Don't you have to put the heat on lower to give that turkey time to thaw out so that you can then put the spices and dressings on and crank the heat up so that it can finally get cooking?

It's the same with us!  We all have "extras" stuffed in hidden places within us.  We all have undesirables that need to be known at least of ourselves and dealt with before we can proclaim ourselves presentable and ready to be baked.  We all have things to work on within ourselves, the realities that we all face below the waterline that we have to deal with while we thaw out and get ready to get baking and grow spiritually.  Just as we wouldn't want to present that turkey at Thanksgiving after cooking it with the "extras" still in, we wouldn't want to present ourselves with our "extras" still in when we come to our time of judgment.  We have to look at the realities below the waterline so that we may know what they are and work on clearing them out!

We are all vessels of the Holy Spirit.  We are all striving to be filled with the Holy Spirit so that it can work through us.  If we are stuffed with "extras" how is that leaving room to be filled by the good things?  It takes up room that we need to be filled by the Holy Spirit and inhibits us from Spiritual Growth!  When you are filled with these "extras", when you are filled up by undesirables, what comes out when you get bumped?  What comes out when you go through a rough time or hit a bump in the road?  These "extras" do indeed affect us, and instead of the Holy Spirit coming out of us when someone cuts us off at the intersection, those "extras" have a tendency to flow out instead.  Instead of feeling at peace that God is with you and that even if you are facing a difficult situation God will indeed see you through, if you are filled with doubt and worry instead of peace of mind, how can you grow spiritually?  What are you filled with?  What comes out of you when you get bumped?  What thoughts go through your mind when you are going through troubling times?

If you are having issues yourself with past abuse, rape, anorexia, cheating, whatever the case may be, this indeed hinders your spiritual growth and becoming more Christ like if they aren't dealt with affectively.  If you are having feelings of inadequacy, if you are going through a tough time in life and just aren't dealing with it very well, if you are questioning your belief in God and how He is working in your life, how can you grow spiritually?  These are all realities that are stuffed within us, hiding from plain site, that do indeed need to be dealt with before we can grow spiritually!

If we look inside ourselves and find ourselves questioning our Christianity, small questions that we hide because we want to look "Christian" to the outside world, how are we to grow spiritually?  Questions such as "Where was God while I was going through the abuse?"  "How come God didn't help me not have to go through my job loss?"  "Why did God let me get cancer?"  Small questions that are indeed big, things within ourselves that stops us from growing spiritually.  If we go to church on Sunday because we're supposed too, if we wear the mask of Christianity because that's what we feel others expect to see; if we say our prayers, do our devotionals, and go to church because we feel that's what good Christians do, how are we growing spiritually?

As looking below the waterline pertains to Soul Care, and actually helping someone and supporting them through their issues to grow spiritually, they first have to have an understanding of what realities they are dealing with and how they pertain to themselves and their feelings towards God.  Too often people blame God for their troubles.  Too often people turn away from God because of what they are going through instead of turning towards Him and giving Him their troubles so that they can affectively live through Him.  These realities that are going through deep inside hinder their spiritual growth!

James 1:23-25 "Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.  But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it - he will be blessed in what he does."

In order to follow this, we have to look inside ourselves at the reality of what we are doing and if we are indeed following Christ so that we may grow spiritually.  If we don't look in that mirror, if we don't look what's going on deep inside us and at the realities of who we are and what we are doing and going through, how are we to then grow spiritually?

Galatians 5:16-18, 24-26 " So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.  For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature.  They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.  But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law...Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires.  Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.  Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other."

Galatians 5:19-23 "Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies and things like these.  I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."

The message is clear, if we are filled with things within us that go against what is needed to achieve Spiritual Growth, we've got to look deep inside ourselves so that we can insure that we are not doing those things that area against the Spiritual Growth that we are striving to achieve.  Some things listed are plainly evident and easy to see, right out there on the surface; but others such as envy are sometimes buried deeper and need a closer inspection.  Without us consciously understanding and seeing the realities under the waterline within our own lives, we would be fooling ourselves into thinking that we are indeed ready to grow spiritually and will struggle with being able to do so.  Would you want to show up at the time of our judgment with those "extras" still stuffed inside you?

Mosaic

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Fostering Hope

12 And they that shall be of thee shall build the old waste places: thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations; and thou shalt be called, The repairer of the breach, The restorer of paths to dwell in.

Isaiah 58:12

MOSAIC
At 16, she clearly had more street smarts than most people do at twice her age. On the surface, she was really kind of a mess to look at. Her skin bore the evidence of darker days, as superficial scars covered her wrists and thighs. She had hoped that causing pain on the outside would alleviate the pain on the inside, but that only worked for a little while. She also sported a couple of not-very-well-done tattoos and several piercings that I could see. She grinned a little and mentioned that there were others, but I left that subject alone.

I wanted to know more about her. Her parents were drug addicts; high on whatever they could buy or steal most of her life. At age 7 she was living with them in a tent by a lake, and it was at that age she learned to smoke by sneaking leftover cigarettes when they were passed out. By 10 she was an alcoholic, and by 13 had used almost every street drug known. At some point she could no longer self-medicate her reality, and she began to think about ending her life. By anyone's standards, her life was a pile of shattered pieces. Then she met this boy. A really good boy. Who told her she was smart. And funny. And beautiful. And who believed in her. One by one, with patience and care, he began to glue her life back together. Piece by shattered piece. Until she was off drugs. And alcohol free. And in a GED program. And thinking about the future, and marriage, and being a mom someday. 'My life is a mosaic,' she told me. 'There are a lot of pieces, but now they fit together to make a picture.' Not just a picture. A masterpiece. A beautiful work of art.

PRAYER FOR THE BROKEN: Thank you Father for Your amazing love. Show these kids that whatever they have brought in with them to that shelter or foster home, You can wipe it clean. Show them there is love for them, healing for them, and hope for them. Help them feel Your amazing grace. Amen

WOW, just wow!  I’ve often thought of myself as a “Humpty Dumpty” that has fallen off the wall and have had to slowly piece myself back together once again, but I so much like this outlook much better! lol

How many of us have had to piece ourselves together again?  Grabbing our self esteem from here, our ability to trust from waaayyyy over there, and have had to slowly piece ourselves together like a Mosaic?  Many of us have, and I truly feel like it says above, that each and every one of us are a masterpiece just waiting to be finished.

Let’s add to the prayer above.  Let’s pray for all those that have gone through abuse, domestic violence, rape, bullying, all and every type of demeaning and degrading styles of harm there are out there.  Pray that they will feel the Love not only from Our Father, but from all of us that are out here to support them through to their healing, their piecing together.  Lord, give them the strength they need to get through, and open their eyes so that they may see your Love for them, whether they are pieced together or not.  Amen

Chronic

From YouVersion Reading Plan: Fostering Hope

9 The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.

Psalm 9:9

CHRONIC

In medicine, some health conditions never go away. They irritate and nag and keep you from functioning at full strength. They suck the energy out of you. Some life conditions do that too. She was 17, and counting the days until her birthday when she could be 'out on her own'. She was going to move in with a friend, she told me, and try to get a job, although she had only completed the 9th grade so far, and thought that being employed at a fast food restaurant was her best option. She answered my questions in a somewhat robotic, monotonous voice, and she seemed almost able to predict what the question was before I had asked it. Until I asked about her family. Then the robot vanished. Her voice shook, and her eyes filled with pain. Lots of it. First in foster care at age 2. Back and forth between the system and home until she was school-age. Parent's rights terminated. In several foster homes. Then adopted. Until it got hard. Then back into foster care. Now, almost on her own. But with no hope, no future, no life. Just pain. Chronic, long-standing pain. An aspirin won't fix that. Only one thing will - love. Massive, overwhelming, unconditional love. And she hasn't found that yet.

OMG how I know about chronic illness, and how much it just drains you!  I never saw a connection to that and how our life conditions can do the same, but thinking back, I can see it plainly…

I’ve met many woman that have not only gone through Domestic Violence but through child abuse as well, and the on going abuse throughout their life has just drained them so bad!  Not knowing anymore who to trust, or if to trust anyone anymore.  Not knowing if they can be loved for who they were, many times not knowing anymore themselves who they are anymore.  It not only just drains the life out of you, but drains who you are!

There is no quick fix for that.  There is no magic pill any doctor can prescribe that will make it go away.  Healing can happen though, again nothing quick, a lot of work involved and a lot of baby steps, but it can be done!  Finding a support system while healing is so crucial.  People around you that will be there through the good times and the bad.  Friends that will support you even in your lowest days.  Sometimes this is hard to find, and when all else fails, just remember that you can reach towards God for that unconditional love that you may not be able to find.